What's the Difference...Bye, Vonda, girl!

Vonda Evans

I want to know the difference. I want to know the difference between Vonda Evans and Rae Lee Chabot. I think it is obvious, and I'm going to tell you a story about a woman, and that woman is me. I have said this a million times. These judges that rule on these verdicts that are unfair, are not bad people. These men and women, like those involved in the Oakland County prostitution ring that includes Rae Lee "Let 'em go Chabot" are being blackmailed, exhorted and bullied by men that want to make money from their sentencing. Men and women don't get the sentence they deserve and come back to the system and make these men and women more money. In order to get back to the jail to make them money, however, others have to be victims of crime. Some of these women die from their addiction and some are killed on the street. Either way, it's messed up. Either way people, innocent people are hurt. The women's prison numbers have sky-rocketed in the last 20 years and their sexual prowess is why, along with the money made by prisoners. You know when a system is corrupt, when the number of prisoners in their jails and prisons are so high, you can't understand.

It has been found, today that 2,000 women at the women's prison at Huron Valley have scabies. This prison is full and about 700 women over capacity. I am told that women living in Dickenson, a unit in Huron Valley, are like a herd of buffalo stampeding the wild blue yonder at chow. Women sit in the day room that I also hear is filled to capacity. When the officer yells, "CHOW!" Women that used to include me, set off to the walk to the chow hall, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. In Dickenson, that means women fill the stairwells on their way to eat. There is just too many! There is just not enough attention being paid to the number of women in the prison. I was told by the wardens assistant that there is no health risks, although there is mold in the showers and flowing through the vents. Too many women, not enough showers. Long lines for the phone, maggots in the meals and sexual harassment suits. In fact, the State will be paying out on one any day now. Nobody cares to know or listen to a person like me. Women, abused and left to be made to live uncomfortably. Not by judges in Oakland County, 95% of the women in OCJ are are there for petty crimes, "Uttering and Publishing", "Driving While License Suspended", "Retail Fraud", and the most notorious, "Prostitution". 

It is the job of a judge to weigh these situations and make a choice of sentencing. I've watched Vonda Evans send a woman to prison, without trepidation. I know that Chabot doesn't look at sentencing the same way. I sat with her while she gave a man with 18 loitering convictions, and a stint in prison already under his belt, get a probation sentence. That means that he'll be back in jail within a year and made to prostitute, again. He'd be back before Chabot and get a lighter sentence, again. What this does to the people of Oakland County and the people of Michigan for that fact is make another person or business a victim. This man's breaking and entering charge was made into a loitering charge. He had broken into a business while it was closed and had stolen a bunch of goods and got caught on his way out. The Prosecutor, who isn't always in on the "prostitution sentencing", because they don't have to be if the judge is in on it. Has a hard time accepting what is going on. In this case, the Prosecutor asked for at least 18 months in prison. As the judge read the sentence, my mouth dropped. Once you've been to prison in the last five years, there is no way, with 18 other felony convictions and a prison sentence, you should not go back to prison. She set him free that day on probation with "Time Served".

I recall Evan's chastisement of  police officer, William Melendez, at his sentencing. She was harsh, but fair. She told him like it was. He was a horrible man to beat that man, plant drugs and lie to the court. All of her words were true and hit home with the man, because he sat mute at his sentencing that was light in my opinion. Rae Lee Chabot has another famous exchange with Geoffrey Fieger. In fact, Fox 2 made a montage of their exchanges. In the short video, Chabot is heard telling Fieger to "move along", and denying his objections. It was during a murder trial of a young man that had killed a police officer. Fieger should have moved on, the kid was a killer. There is nothing more serious to a judge than a dead cop. But after my experiences with Chabot, it was hilarious that she was so tough with Fieger, but not the men and women that are causing havoc in our community. She's a puppet, only getting serious when it comes to what she thinks the public cares about. After cutting him short, it would be ironic, if it's his law firm that leads a class-action lawsuit against the likes of her, the OCSD and the County. What would be equally horrible is if he wins!

Victims of crime that don't think this kind of sentencing doesn't hurt anyone, should look at it in a different light. Someone that gets out on probation, is an addict and has drug-court is who is usually set free. Many of these people rob and steal to get their drugs. If they are set free, and go with the odds then someone will be robbed or stolen from within a year. Some old woman will be beaten. Someone's house will be broken into and their entire lives shaken to the core. Because once these things happen to you, you never see the world the same way, again. Likewise, these men and women die. They go back on the street, they use drugs, make drug dealing enemies and could be killed in the commission of a crime. There has been deaths of men and women in Pontiac, especially on Baldwin over the last 10 years. Personally, my nephews mother killed herself drinking. She had three DUI's in Oakland County. Never did more than 30 days in jail. Drinking Under the Influence is serious business anywhere else. My nephew's mother, and at one time a very good friend of mine died at her own hands.

Jail and prison can be a very therapeutic place for an addict. A person can actually use that time to get their lives together. If anything, they can use it as a time for rehabilitating their life. Every minute they aren't on the streets using drugs is time their body has a break from drugs and alcohol and that time is crucial to their survival. It is time that they are not doing drugs. Like anything else, when you have time off, it gives you time to reflect on your life and maybe make better choices. Not to say it would work, but it would give people the chance to live and not die. My nephew, whom I love dearly, doesn't have a mother, anymore. I think that OCJ is a huge part of her death, because she was a drunk. A drunk that had three arrests for drinking and driving. Once, she was arrested shortly after leaving our house and let me tell you that she was sloppy drunk. So drunk, she hit several cars on her way. She also had her three children in the car with her. She got a slap on the wrist, and it was her second or third DUI, and I know she was way passed the legal limit. She should have gone to prison. That may sound harsh, but it could have given her body an entire year free of drugs and especially alcohol. After two stints in the hospital and the request to never drink again, she seized and never came out of it. My 21-year old nephew had to sign to take her off the respirator. He came to my mother, his grandmother and cried like a baby. I was locked up, fighting the same men that helped to kill his mother. These men are monsters.

The Judicial Tenure Commission, whom I have asked for help on several occasions is a joke. The White judges of Oakland County get a pass. They are allowed to do whatever they want and not get punished. This is the second Wayne County judge that is out of a job, because of their intervening in a situation concerning them. I wrote them countless letters and recently had a situation with a racist, sexist and prejudice judge that they ignored my complaints. The Lisa Gorcyca investigation and punishment was a joke, and so petty, I know that Gorcyca had to have pissed one of them off. I say them, because these men are law enforcement phantoms. They harass me, put Personal Protections Orders against me and I have no idea who they are. They are just giving orders. They are the ghost that everyone is afraid of. So high on the food-chain that they can't be touched. The same men that kept Rae Lee Chabot out of trouble when Channel 7 found her doing the same thing they say Vonda Evans is doing. But Vonda Evans' sentences don't make them any money, so she will resign. The same kind of White men that won't move those women in the over-crowded Huron Valley Correctional Facility. The same ones. So, the difference is color, but more importantly, money! 

Mike Bouchard wants us to think that it is over. I know that unless the State or the Feds come and close it down that men and women will always be a prostitution ring. Men have raised their children, built expensive homes, RV's and classic cars on selling people. They have children in school, driving cars and wearing expensive clothes on selling women. They have cabins, "Up North" and grocery list that can feed a king. No one is going to tell me it's over. Thanks to another crooked judge, I might be finding out what's going on really soon. I don't believe him, because I know all that I know. The difference between these two women is one is willing to do things the other refuses to do. As I have said in the past, Wayne county is doing it, too. The difference between these two women is Black and White, but it is also green. The game is being played and it is being televised. So, bye Vonda, girl! It's been real...

Our Mayor is Awesome

Pontiac Mayor
Deirdre Waterman

I remember meeting Deirdre Waterman for the first time in 2001. I had known her husband the great, late William Waterman. He had been in practice with my uncle, up until he became a district court judge in Pontiac. I had never met his wife. It seems that she was a ghost. I knew other politicians in Pontiac, whose mates that I had never met, before. Politicians are often outgoing, and because opposites attract, their mates are usually in no way interested in the public eye. Dr., Mrs., "Your Honorable" Deirdre Waterman seemed to be the same way. Her husband was a fiery man, and a Civil Rights leader, too. He was the man that fought and won against L. Brooks Patterson. Remember, the White woman didn't want her children going to school with the Black students in Pontiac. There had been a bus initiative. Children were going to be bused into districts that were predominantly White, from Black neighborhoods and vice-versa. This woman wanted to stop it from happening, and hired Patterson to represent her in a court case to stop the initiative. It was only a few years that had passed that the showdown happened that I was being shipped over to Webster from "The Projects" Lakeside Homes. It was still fresh in the minds of the people of Pontiac in 1978. My teacher couldn't stand me and dug her fingernails in my arms. I was just having problems at home. But she was used to teaching little White girls and had no time for my Negro shenanigans. Waterman had fought for my right to be abused by that woman, Mrs. Matous. L. Brooks Patterson, still the racist "Master" of Oakland County, didn't want that to occur.

William "Bill" Waterman, in his forever tenacious spirit beat him and beat him good. With the state of our school system today, I think he would be sorely disappointed and ashamed of what has happened in the schools in Pontiac. I know this is a blog about our Mayor. I know she wants to get out from up under his legacy and create one of her own, and I don't think she can, because his fire is a testament that she can stand the test of time. She is smart and beautiful and a clear example of everything that Waterman was all about. She's a fighter, and when you live with an attorney, fighting is in their DNA. You learn how to take a jab and give a hit. You are stunned sometimes, by the zeal of their rebuttal and hard pressed to bring one of your own. You win some and you lose some, but you not only learn the rules of the game, but you learn how to build your case. I would like to say that our Mayor is the wife of one of the best litigators in Michigan of old, and it shows every time I turn on one of the city council meetings. She wins and when she loses, she regroups and is a formidable opponent to the Council President, Kermit Williams. A man that if her husband was still living would be handled by now, he knows the rules, but for some reason doesn't believe they apply to the Mayor and makes up new ones as he goes along. Rude, crass and rules that have no respect for her office or her womanhood, which makes me question his manhood. 

Now, he has his cronies, Doris Taylor-Burkes and Gloria Miller that he puts up to fight with the Mayor. Taylor-Burkes who has an advance degree, but not in Government and Miller that doesn't have any degree at all. Miller has no idea what her job actually is. I think she believes that her "heart" will open parks, fix roads and attend to her constituents. The job of a City Council is to pass laws to help keep the city in order and moving forward. Things like downtown-development, parks and recreation and city roads. Sitting in council meetings every Tuesday night and fighting with the Mayor is not one of their goals, but like the other legislative bodies in this country, both State and Federal, lots of time is spent trying to sabotage the Leader with their legislative antics. Kermit Williams is a master at starting confusion, and then making it seem like things are still getting done. An attorney, Reginald Turner of Clark-Hill law firm,

came to the council meeting last Tuesday, 1-8-2019, and he gave a presentation. On top of that, he was very rude to our Mayor. Interrupting her comments, when she never uttered a word during his. Likewise, Kermit Williams, as council president, allowed the disrespect and never forced the man to stand down. He allowed him to disrupt the Mayor, while making a point that was a moot one, because he has not been retained by the council. But then moves forward and passes two of the Mayors initiatives with ease. Like he didn't have the worse display of a presentation that's worse than his last. Tricks of an evil leader.

The Mayor was in the midst of making a fantastic point. Turner had not been engaged by the city. He had no business sending bills to the City Finance Director, because he had no contract with the city to demand payment for anything. If he's counseling Williams, City Council President, and it appears that he's only had contact with Williams. None of the other council members seemed to know what was going on. He has been doing all of that for free. The Mayor does not have to pay anyone that she hasn't hired! Kermit Williams has no power to hire an attorney for the City Council. The Mayor wants to know why the Council is seeking an attorney. She says that if there is a conflict between her and the Council then she would like to know what it is. That way, she could try to solve it, before any legal action is taken that involves a clash, between the Executive and Legislative branch of the city's government. That's only fair to her and her administration and the people of the city who will pay. I think that Williams needs some money. The Mayor said that the bill went from $4,000 to $60,000. Turner has actually sent bills to a person that never hired him. How presumptuous is that? The Mayor told him that he's been trying to get the money for months in court. She says that O'Brien told him, "No!" Then she told him to go take it up with O'Brien, because the city isn't paying him anything. As far as the courts go, WE don't have to.

Kermit Williams can't just take up with a lawyer and then say the Mayor is stopping the man from being paid. The Mayor caught Turner, when he kept saying he's not "engaged". Right, he hasn't been retained. If he tries to once again take her to court, she's going to tell the judge that he admitted in an open-forum that he has not been retained. If you have not bee retained, and send a city a bill that's "Fraud" in my humble opinion. I think that he'll get that money and they'll split it four ways, however not evenly, with Turner and Williams getting the bulk of it and Taylor-Burkes and Miller getting a smaller portion. There is no other reason for a "respected" attorney to stand before a city and lie and say that we owe his firm money. Then the uneducated Miller stated that we would go back into receivership, if we don't pay him and find out where all the money is going. Paying people you don't owe, would surely cause someone to go bankrupt. Like the Mayor alluded to people would show up at our front-door saying we owe them all the time. They would just right up invoices, send them to our Finance Department and get paid. NO...A lawyer must be retained. Williams, as zealous as he may be, does not have the power to retain Mr. Turner and his law firm. 

Now, back to where I first met our illustrious Mayor. She was at a fundraiser to elect her husband and his good friend Judge Christopher Brown. She had on a delightful yellow dress and she was simply smiling at everyone and taking pictures. I had no idea that there was a women in that pretty yellow suit that could bring our city out of receivership, and out of a financial crisis. But there she was taking pictures. Supporting two of the most powerful men in Michigan. I knew that she was smart, because her optical shop was on the first floor of her husbands building. I knew that she was resilient, because she was his wife and a man so strong wouldn't marry a wuss, but his equal. Fighter love a good fight, and the chance to lose, every now and again. One afternoon when we were talking, he told me that he had to go. He had promised his wife that he would take her to a movie. She would do the driving, because poor health had him unable to, but I know she didn't mind. She was not only capable, but willing to help and give to a man that she loved dearly. I believe with all my heart that she loves this city dearly, and that she's willing to take us to new heights if we are willing and fair. I think she will, and I pray that we will give of ourselves to help our city.  

https://www.facebook.com/pontiacmayor/videos/2294932464117622/

This video will be played on Facebook. This is the meeting with Attorney Turner and the once again, blatant disrespect of President Kermit Williams.

Women ARE Victimized

Cyntoia Brown

There is this young woman that was the victim of sex trafficking. Cyntoia Brown was the victim of sex trafficking at 16-years old. She met a man named "Cut Throat", who pimped her out, and sold her to a man named Jim Allen. She murdered Allen, while tricking with him at his home. Having thought that he was going to shoot him, she killed him and was convicted of murder. At 16, I didn't understand much. I wasn't sexually active, but many of my high school friends were and my two best friends were being abused by their boyfriends. One of which 33 years later has become empowered and one that is still stuck in the world of abuse. This young woman got out in the worst way, but now she has to get out the worst way.

I spent four years in prison, with women who were there, because of a man. I was there, because of a man. He wasn't my man, but he is now. I had to go to prison or he lost his career. I had to go to prison, because if I didn't he could. The same people who rail roaded me, could do the same to him and he could take my place. I met my girl, Ranya, who did a similar thing with a drug case and had given herself for her man. He had already did a bid and another would mean more years than she wanted him to do. Rita went with her man and has never been home, again, since going to talk to the police. She is slated to never go home, because Rita got LIFE. LIFE stands for never, ever going home, again without clemency.

There has been a law passed that is supposed to stop Cyntoia from getting such a hefty sentence. Only the State of Tennessee has said that she has to do 51 years, before she can be allowed to come-up for parole. It's not necessarily that she will go home when she is 71-years old. She will be eligible for someone to hear her and deliberate to see IF she can go home! There is a chance that Illinois will get a kind governor who will allow for clemency or a sentence reduction. The chances of that happening are slim. Most states are regulated by their voters, and most people do not care about prisoners. Reading this story, I discovered that Cyntoia had run away from home. An enlightened voter would think, "That's what she gets for running away." Bad choices don't make for wrongful punishment". She made a bad decision, but not onto losing the bulk of her life. Especially, when she was duly abused, manipulated and taken advantage of by a man. "Cut Throat" used her for his own causes, and she was a victim of his abuse and addiction.

Women are being victimized. We are being raped and sexualized and demoralized, everyday. I even think that Sarah Huckabee is treated badly some days. We are powerful, but it seems in the world of men, and women that want to prove they are equal to men, we get the shaft. Why should a woman in a vulnerable position be punished so drastically, when the man she murdered was also committing a crime? Prostitution is a crime. When you seek not only to hire a prostitute that is a crime, but then wanting a under-aged prostitute that is another crime. There should be some leniency for the child. With so many young women being sold it's so hard to say that she's not a victim of this new wave of crime in America. Drugs were used to make her submissive, and drugs can also impair your judgement. Why can't anyone in Illinois see that she shouldn't be in prison so long? Is it because she is a woman of color? Is it, because they don't believe her? How much time is enough time for a child?

Alicia Famiano is my friend. I left her in Huron Valley where she has been for 16 years. She killed a man that was sexually assaulting her. Never having been in trouble, before, she got LIFE. Remember, LIFE means forever. You will never go home. Her son and mother comes to see her, a lot. Her son is a brilliant child that is half-Black. Famiano is Italian. She used to plant our flowers in RTP, and she did a very good job. I used to talk to her and she was very calm. She felt that if she really thought about her situation she would lose her mind. So, unless pushed to her end, does she have a tendency to explode. Kind of like her case. She once told a woman, "Look at me, I'm here for being abused and fighting back. If anyone should be going crazy it's me. I should be losing my mind." I wanted to tell her that she was in RTP and she at some point had lost her mind, but I let her have her moment. I really like Alicia.

This blog is not about Cyntoia, but about women that I know. Women that have been victimized by men that let them take the blame, because they were cowards. I had a man that told me years ago that when you are an addict, a woman is a commodity. He said that when he was broke, he could always send his woman out on the street to make money to buy drugs. God forbid she ever got tired, he said that he would punch her in the eye, "There was something about the eye", he said. Once he hit her in the eye, she was always willing to go out in the street and make his money. As a survivor of the Oakland County Jail, I know how relentless a man would be that wanted to sell you for money. At 10, I wore a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that had a man staring at me all the way down the street. Believe me, I get our worth to men. When we agree to sacrifice our freedom for love, sometimes it's not by choice. Sometimes, we are beat down to the point that we haven't a choice and that's when it gets bad.

What if we get tired, and the man has told us that it's no good. We can't just walk away. If you walk or run, I'll be right behind you. Sometimes, and this is sad, women just want a man to "act right". She'll stay, as long as he stops beating me. As long as he stops making me use so many drugs. If he, if he, if he? That's who he is and that's what you have allowed him to be. My brother beat me so bad, the first time he discovered he could and I almost killed him. To this day, my mother can't forgive me for stabbing him. When I was younger, my father used to beat her all the time. He beat her, even after he left and moved in with another woman and her children. She fought him back with all she had. As a child I saw her, and I fight back, now! I would never tolerate that from a man, but I would allow one to lie on me and send me to prison and forgive him. Both in my opinion are forms of abuse, but when is murder acceptable. For me, it never is, but at time it's a "Life or Death" situation and you are forced to make a split-decision. In your eyes, it's "do or die". When someone dies, someone has to pay? Why? If you make a bad choice, and break the law, you lose your rights; right?

OCSD Badge

There is a precedent in America that women can be victimized and physically tormented without repercussion. Men rape us at alarming rates, kill us in alarming rates and abuse us, too. When we fight back, then we become the bad guy. It was the anniversary of "The Burning Bed" last week. A woman whose abusive husband refused to let her go, she burned him up, while he slept. For women, that may be the only way to get any kind of peace of mind. When a man tells you that he'll never let you go, but refuses to allow you any solace it's hard. You feel trapped and sometimes think that taking your own life is the only way to recapture who you were before them. I know that Oakland County Sheriff's Department employs abusive men. So, women of Oakland County are at risk. Then they are selling them in the jail's clinic and putting them at risk even more. They have women judges  giving them lighter sentences for their prostituting. And giving no action to women like me who don't want t be a prostitute. Beauty is painful!

I remember, Mrs. Dudley saying that the women in jail were growing. She had been working as a turn-key for 45 years. She said that at one point there was only 90 women in the Annex. Men took up more than 75% of the Annex. Now, women have not only taken over the Annex, but they have been forced to open the second floor. Laws have been changes, such as "Driving with a Suspended License" that lock women up. Shoplifting, simple assault (fighting) and minor drug offenses and uttering and publishing, have become reasons for women to be locked up. Crimes that when Mrs. Dudley first became a deputy, weren't crimes that sent women to jail. Take away women in jail for those offenses and the jails would be empty. Getting caught prostituting, gets you 90-days and is the most prominent offense that women commit in Pontiac. Women are now a commodity and the idea that they can make deputies money is key to many criminal arrest in Oakland and Wayne Counties. As a woman being targeted in this County, the police have been able to abuse their power to a degree that they put me in jail for doing nothing.

Judges rarely make choices based on what they want to do. They answer to those who helped put them in office, and if they have secrets. Someone doesn't want Cyntoia out of prison. It could be for lots of reason, but what I do know that it is unfair. Not only is she subject to abuse by a male-driven judicial system but a female, homosexual incarceration system. It's not the men in jail that are now subjecting her to sexual abuse, but female guards that insist that she has sex with other women to get by. Plus, we don't know why she left home and it could be worse than the prison system. There has to be a call for justice that includes the men of America. The women can't fight this battle alone. They have to open up a discussion about how women are done wrong, because they aren't able to protect themselves from the abuse that men have the potential to inflict. Moreover, when we ask for help, we have to be able to get that help and not be afraid or ashamed that we made a bad choice. The "Good 'ole boys Club" has got to close and the "Loving Men's Club" has to open up. I pray that a man will hear my call.

Yaktownlaisly and other stuff: SARAH

Yaktownlaisly and other stuff: SARAH: The deadly scene of Terrance Dyer death at the carelessness of Sarah Gaynor. This person was the hardest person to have to live ...  #OCJ

Ode to Vince

I’m a stranger – so are you?

We are strangers.

We aren’t friends,

You’re not my brother.

Surely, you are not my lover.

I am sure you are the sun.

Hovering in the sky.

I’m the moon.

Looming in your darkness and gloom.

But we are strangers.

You aren’t my friend,

Neither are you my brother

(Silence)

Or my lover.

Like the fruit that hangs from a tree.

The roots are hidden,

And that’s you and me.

The distance apart and deep at the heart.

Invisible and impossible to see.

The fruit and the tree.

(Silence)

Yeah, that’s you and me.

I can name in an instant the men you have been.

I can list them, honestly,

From beginning to end.

Goren and Fisk.

Bill and Carl.

Give me a minute and I bet I could name them all.

I call you my fantasy.

I call you my dream,

But I just love your acting.

So, know what I mean.

It’s like this Vincent,

You are a cloud.

You rain down your gifts,

As the words and lines begin to fall.

You drip on us like the water on the ocean.

A stellar experience in centrifugal motion.

Only to stay for as long as it last.

So, you’re a stranger.

You are not my friend.

You are not my brother.

You’re an actor,

And not my lover.

We don’t even know each other.

-       Lesley (Yaktownlaisly)

November 12, 2018

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Spotlight Women's Health: The Rh Factor

My blood is Rh negative (Rh-). I don't have any children, and my blood type is the reason why. Roughly, 85% of Americans have positive blood types. That leaves only about 15% with negative blood types. I am B-, and my father was B-, but all of my siblings took after my mother and they have positive blood types. I have four sisters. I can only assume that their blood types are all positive. At least none of them have had trouble conceiving and carrying a child to term like me. There has been very little infertility in our family. My mother, my sister and I all started our periods when we were 12. Both of them have children. My mother had me, of course, and my sister has four children. It seems that we are similar, based on heredity, because we got our periods at the same age. Except, they both had children and I did not. We know from breast cancer that women inherit their mother's health issues. That's no always true, but I believe it is true with me. My mother got pregnant every year from 1963 to 1967. Each of those siblings were born a year and about two months apart. My mother was married to my father, which made that easily accomplished, but still I ask..."Why don't I have any children?"

When I sold shoes in Gantos in 1991, my manager was named Belinda. Belinda had gotten pregnant. She was always sick and I was always having to work her shift. One morning, she called to tell me that she wouldn't be making her twelve o'clock shift. She has a negative blood type and had to get a shot and she wasn't feeling well. I hung up the phone and wondered if I would need a shot, too. I had been in the Army and discovered that I was B-. We had did a little experiment in "Life Science" class at Wilberforce, and I had discovered I was B- then, too. So, I was B- and I may need to take precautions when getting pregnant and carrying a child. I was 20 and thought that I was invincible, besides, my "Life Science" professor Dr. Ball, had told the class that most children take their blood type from their father. My sister had already had two children by now. The same sister, who started her period at 12 like me. In my mind, based on what Dr. Ball said, she had inherited our father's Rh- blood and she was having kids just fine. Today, I know she has positive blood and the only reason I didn't have a child is my blood type and that is so disheartening.

Belinda miscarried her pregnancy and did come back to work for a while. Again, I didn't know why she lost her child, but now I know why. Obviously, she didn't get her shot soon enough, and her boyfriend had positive blood. Her child had inherited his positive blood and her body expelled the "foreign" substance that had invaded her body. Belinda was about eight weeks pregnant. She didn't know had miscarried. If she was so early finding out she was pregnant, she may have thought that she was having her period and not even know she was pregnant. I believe that's what happened to me in college. I was involved with a young man my entire time in college. I met him the first week I was there and began having sex on a regular bases. I never thought I could get pregnant, because starting at around 17 years old, my periods stopped being predictable and some months I never got one at all. Many of my old friends, got pregnant, anyway. They were also careless, due to their irregular periods they didn't think they could have children either. That's not true at all. My doctor, Dr. Isaac, told me that a woman can still ovulate and not have a period. 

While in college I never really had a period but twice. In fact, I bought a bunch of pads to take with me, and didn't use very many of them. My old friends ended up stealing them with everything else they took from my dorm room, when I didn't return from spring-break. My old friend, Val, still has the microwave my father gave me. She says she keeps it in her basement. The first period I had there was the same old dry two day period. It consisted of brown matter that wasn't nearly what I had when I was 12. But pretty much what I was use to. The second was early in 1989, and it was different. It was longer and slimier and I had bad cramps in my hips and thighs. I thought it was kinda weird and that's probably why I remember it. I thought nothing of it, because I wasn't throwing up or having any kind of sickness. So, it was just a period to me. The one sign I remember, however, is I get so tired. I remember my mother asking me once. "Why are you lying around sleeping all the time. Again, I wasn't throwing up, and in my mind that meant I wasn't pregnant. It was a miscarriage, but I had another one two years later, and I feel more comfortable calling it a spontaneous abortion, because I don't know I'm pregnant. My body has murdered my child and my body hates my fetuses. It biological, cruel and gives me the feeling that I am somehow killing my children. Yes, my body is working against my unborn children in a mean and aggressive way. It's just a lot to deal with.

What happened was simple. Nothing strange about it, but the fact that it happened. I was walking down the street with a friend. Suddenly, there was a gushing feeling. It wasn't the normal flow or a drip that you can't tell if it's your body cleaning itself or your period. This is why so many women have those "mistakes" that have them tying a t-shirt around their waist until they can get cleaned up. No, this was a gushing feeling, like water being secreted from a syringe. It was very sudden and ended just as soon as it began. There wasn't another drop of blood that came from me in the up coming days. I did feel sick afterwards and went to see Dr. Isaac and explained to him what had happened. He gave me some birth control pills and asked me when did the incident occur. I don't him about four or five days ago, he said, "Well, take four of those, today, and then one a day as prescribed." I was confused, but remember, I was only 19. The only thing my mother told me about my period was, "Now, you can't be letting little boys touch on you and stuff." "Touch on me and stuff"? I think the "and stuff" part was sex. So, when he told me that, I asked him surprised, "'That' was my period?" He just nodded his head "Yes". I think that he knew what my problem was then.

I didn't know what had happened back then. I just knew something unusual had happened to me. I never even told the man I was with then, because I didn't even know. But in March of 1991, shortly after I left Gantos. There was a snow storm and I was living with my grandmother at the time. She had gone to stay with a friend, because the storm had knock out all the power in most of the city. The same man and I were still dating and he came over. We had sex of course, and I had gotten pregnant. The gush was his and now the there was another child, but of course it came to nothing, too. We actually stopped talking, because of this pregnancy. I had taken a home pregnancy test and it was positive. I then went to see Dr. Isaac, but he didn't want to give me a pregnancy test. He wanted to do a pelvic exam. My mother said that "Old School" doctor liked to do it that way. If they are good, which Dr. Issac was, he could tell how far along a woman is by the size of her uterus. The uterus expands immediately when a woman gets pregnant and starts making room for a fetus. It also retracts if she aborts it or has a miscarriage. I think my prior experience had him wanting to do pelvic exams versus blood or urine tests. 

This man had a child, already, with his high school sweetheart. He didn't want anymore children with anyone else. In fact, when I told him that I was pregnant, he stopped talking to me. Maybe it was to teach me a lesson, but I didn't take it that way and moved on. Who I moved on to and got pregnant by him about three months late. That I believe was my fourth pregnancy, and would determine the next 25 years of my life. His sister was a cop, which is a theme on my other blog. We were involved only for the summer, and a lot of things happened within those summer months that made my next years hell. I would get pregnant with his child and meet Patricia. With this pregnancy, I told him about the Rh factor and even asked him his blood type. He wasn't talking to me at the time and didn't say a word. Maybe he wanted our child to die. I naturally, no pun intended, miscarried. That's four in about two and a half years. I held on to this baby longer than I should. Mostly, because Dr. Isaac told me I was pregnant. He gave me a proof of pregnancy and everything. I got food stamps and a check every month. All my old friends were doing it and I wasn't ashamed, although I am now. But they had apartments and stuff. Remember, at this time I was only 21, I was very stupid back then.

Today, this is a sticking point with my enemies. They try to use a medical condition to make me a "basket case". Sure, maybe I did hang on a little longer, and that's to my heart and not my brain. I thought this man was it. He went on a few years later and married another woman. Who she and her friends tried to torture me about the child I never had. Her friend took her son's hand in Target and as I walked by whispered to him, "Say Mommy, Mommy!" The boy followed her directions, but I could hear her as I walked by in whisper pronounce, "Louder! Louder!" I laughed it off, because obviously, this Mommy's issues are an issue with her and her friend. All I can say to that is God is the equalizer. Six years later, same thing with a co-worker and I was just done. I wasn't doing being pregnant, anymore. I just shut it all down. If I wasn't having sex, then I couldn't be pregnant or think that I am. That is where I stand, today. My biggest foes, are sitting around hoping that I would go back into a tailspin and be pregnant all over, again. That is just something that can never happen at this point.

MTV had a special on homelessness and a young woman was being harassed by the police for being on the street. I remember she told the cop, "I have to get a shot. I had a miscarriage with my last baby, because of my blood. I don't want to go to jail, because I need to get my shot, or I'll lose my baby." It's been in my face this entire time. My bosses, my teachers and even MTV, but it just never clicked. I guess I believe that I would be the exception, but obviously I'm not. I keep reading in these articles and videos that it only occurs in you second pregnancy. That's not true, and your body will kill any foreign substance that is in your body, viruses, it tries to kill AIDS and fetuses, too. Some women can carry a child passed 20-weeks. Those babies have a horrible time in the wound. They can have brain damage, heart failure, anemia,still birth and death after they are born. I watched an episode of 9-1-1 on Fox and one of the EMT's on the show had a blood type that could help these children born Hemolytic.

Now, at 47, I don't know what would be better. I think losing the children I conceived in hopeless relationships was best, and I believe that's what God intentions were. I would be more messed up, if I carried a sick child, gave birth and lost it or had a child with a lifetime of troubles. In so many ways, I think God has blessed me and kept me from heartache on so many levels it is remarkable and I love him for that. I still lie in the bed sometimes and mourn the children that never made it. I think of my body as some type of gas chamber that murders my fetuses, before they even get a chance to live. It is so disheartening, the reality that your body works so well that it deprives you of one of God's greatest gifts. I don't right this to cause a panic, but a lot of what I read on the internet is wrong. I have never had an abortion, but I have miscarried a child, but not in the normal sense of the word. A woman's body will end a pregnancy due to abnormalities and deformities. I won't let anyone lessen my experience or make it any less true. I've lived this reality for 30 years, and it is my truth. With the wrong man, my body is a killing machine. How sad is that? It makes me want to cry...

Spotlight Women: Elizabeth Warren - US Senator

Senator Elizabeth Warren

I have to say that over the last two years I have found a formidable role-model. I can see who I am through the words and actions of Elizabeth Warren. Many would say, "No, you should see yourself in women like Maxine Waters!" I do see myself in Maxine Waters, too. I find that she speaks for people who look like her. She speaks for the Black woman and woman in general. What I haven't been able to see in her, thus far, is the fight for people who don't look like her. That's when you know that your caring comes from a place outside the whelm of differences and reside in a place of obscurity. Warren has a love for all who suffer and cry out in need of a leader, and she gives them exactly what they need. This blog will be a videography of her finest speeches, in my opinion. Senate hearings and stories and why they have made a profound impact on my life as an activist, advocate and leader. I want you to see Elizabeth Warren through my eyes. 

Born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma in 1948, she was the first person to graduate college in her family. Her father worked as a maintenance man at the local high school. Her mother worked at Sears in the catalog department, because her father had a heart-attack. She spent most of her childhood at the lower part of the middle class, but managed to graduate from Rutger Law School, while raising a child. She married her college sweetheart in 1970, and began doing what women do as a wife. Except she had drive, and wanted so much more. The first video I will share, is an answer from God, when she was a young mother striving to keep her job as a teacher.

She told this story, to help explain why childcare is vital to young working women. She was at a conference for Healthcare Action in 2018. She helped the women listening understand that she can understand their struggles, because she struggled, too, and won. Some people will give up, but with honest fervor and zeal, Elizabeth Warren told them the story of Abraham and the lamb in the bush. It lets me know that when God has a call on your life, there will always be an Aunt Bea, or in my case an Aunt Beverly. Someone who will answer your prayers at the very moment you need it. Every woman who knows God, has had one of these moments. It's all falling apart and then...Here comes God working his magic. Let me know Elizabeth Warren is "blessed and highly favored".

In 2016, Wells Fargo begins a tumultuous ending. The bank had been creating fake accounts to build their worth as a bank. The way it worked is that entry-level employees in the banks would create fake accounts without customers knowing. These accounts weren't used for anything, but to build the banks reputation of having more accounts than other banks and being ranked higher among those in the same industry. But, that is against the law and they were fined 185 million dollars by the Securities and Exchange Committee. There was 5,300 lower-level employees fired, the CEO John Stumpf resigned, the creator of the scam Carrie Tolstedt also stepped down. Not before Stumpf went before Senator Elizabeth Warren, and the Senate Finance Committee. Here just one of the exchanges between Stumpf and Warren.

This is actually the first time I'd seen her. This exchange appeared on my Facebook page and I asked myself, "Who is this woman, telling this White man he needs to be fired?" Because he is responsible for the sun rising that morning, and he was so self-assured that he found it relevant to answer her. Well, she saw no relevance in his response, at all, and finished him off in one "fell swoop". It was incredible, and I think her oral diction is impeccable. I strive to be so crystal clear, when I tell people who are wrong that they are just that, and explain in clear terms where they fall short. Because of that, however, I don't get many people willing to face me in a conversation, meeting or an impromptu conversation. I have facts, I have opinions, I have sarcasm and bible quotes, I have it all and am ready for you. I wished I was Elizabeth Warren, and bad men just had to sit and listen to me tell them off. That would be an ideal place for me.

In a speech that held precedent on the Senate floor, she blasted Jeff Sessions. He was Trump's nominee for Attorney General. Warren opposed his nomination, and was ready to read a letter from Coretta Scott-King wrote to the Senate Judiciary Committee. At the time, it was 1968, and Sessions' was being considered for a Federal Judge Appointment. He had done and said some pretty racist things during the Civil Rights Movement. As Trump's "watch dog", she held the floor overnight to block Trump's progress. When she began to read the letter, Republican leaders cut her off and shut her down. She then went to her office, and took to Facebook "Live". She read the letter in its entirety to those of us who were watching. "She persisted", even if she didn't get to finish, she knew they were afraid of what she had to say. She had won...

I am a woman. I love a man, and one day I hope to be someone's mother. That is not everything that I am, or will be. I have hope, dreams and aspirations a part from those things. Although her first marriage failed, and she married again, in 1980. Even that is a symbol of telling us that we always don't get it right, but there is a possibility for a second chance. A woman like Elizabeth Warren shows me that it can be done. She tells her story and everyone else's story with the grace that proves that fighting isn't ever in vain. People are watching, and could learn from your experiences, lessons and understanding. I like the way she doesn't "mind her own business", and the way she minds the business of America. She tells it like it is, and with her Feminist ideas and conjecture, she is changing the face of womanhood in the world. I want to be that way. Her story is our story, her life is our life and we are all better, because she lived the life she did.

Elizabeth Warren's website and social media pages:

http://bioguide.congress.gov/scripts/biodisplay.pl?index=W000817

https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethWarren/

https://twitter.com/SenWarren

https://www.instagram.com/elizabethwarrenma/