Living to Tell the Tale

The relationship between a mother and daughter is special. It is also different person-to-person. I have had a special relationship with my mother all my life. After my father left in 1975, I slept in the bed with my mother. When were super young, it was me, her and my little brother. It was always the three of us. Since my middle sister and I are three years apart, it was like she has two-sets of children. The first three and the last two. I have memories that go as far back as four-years old. Kresge's and riding the bus. When I started first-grade and my little brother hadn't started school, yet. He and my mother would go on the bus and take care of business. I would come home and the door would be locked and I would sit on the porch for a few minutes, and the bus would stop and my mother and brother would exit and my life was better, again. Shortly after that, my sisters would come home with my big brother and the house was full, and again I was full.

As time went on things began to change. My big brother spent his days at his best friends house. My sister's as always were besties and I had my little brother. They would come and take him away from me, every now and then. We grew and I stayed in the bed with my mother. I was always different. I never got caught up. I never did drugs or engaged in weird sex practices. Not only did I face scrutiny in school and in the streets, but in my own home. I was ostracized among my older sisters and brothers, beat and made fun of to end. It's true that is part of growing up. I know we all have had to endure torture from their brothers and sisters, but this was different. It has flowed into our adult life and I am facing the fight of my life, with people that I can't even see, but I know my family is against me and it hurts to the depths of my soul. Once she taints my food, commercials run on television and ads on Facebook that warn of heart attacks and strokes. Why they want to get me sick and in the hospital can only mean they want to harm me further.

My mother whose bed I left at 13-years old. She got a big bedroom in one or the many apartments that we lived in and I took my brothers old bunk-bed. The room was so big that I was able to set it up next to her bed and finally sleep on my own. I even put up posters of George Michael and Michael Jackson to make it feel like a true teenager's bedroom. Then I moved into the room vacated by my sister, who had moved out. One night, after beating me for spending $.80 more than she told me to, out of her five-dollar bill. It got out of control and my mother ended up with a busted capillary in her head and the apartment had blood all over the place. Many things happened that year that include my older sister's new boyfriend meeting me at the bus stop two to three times a week. Parking in a parking lot and asking me to have sex with him. I told my mother and my sister and they both told me that I was lying and there was something that I did. Then we were kicked out of our apartment and my sister kicked me out of her house, and I was homeless. She and my mother always have big plans for my life. My mother always calls my sister to fight me when she starts mess with me. My sister now, is morbidly obese and my mother can't call her anymore.

My mother has stopped eating, and didn't eat anything for days sometimes. She got down to 150-pounds. I had to call my sister, because she wanted to make me look bad, so bad, she was emaciated and looked like she was wasting away. I knew she didn't want me to feel sorry for her. She was still going through my stuff and stealing whatever she thought was important to me. She let her hair go completely white and walked with a cane when she went out. A cane that she didn't need, because subconsciously, she would leave it everywhere she went with it. Meijer started keeping it, and my sisters "husband" got her a new one from his job. Her doctor, Dr. Mohammed Kahn is in on it. He claims that her blood pressure is high. She got a toothache and I took her to the dentist, and her blood pressure was almost perfect. My blood pressure was 222/119 the last time I went to see my mental health provider. She tries to make it seem like I'm making her suffer, but it is so hard to live with a person that takes every opportunity to taint your food and make you sick. I can tell you it is very frustrating.

After that, they have both attacked me in so many ways. That includes searching out my boyfriends and telling me which one were gay, dope-addicts of both. When we got kicked out of our apartment due to things they said that I have done. I just refuse to pick-up trash that wasn't my responsibility. My mother and I went to stay with my sister at her condo. She had been tricking with an old man since she was about 16-years old. I guess she thought that it was my time to get involved with some form of prostitution. The man that she was with, her "boyfriend" was married. Not only did he have her, but a wife and my sister was still tricking with the old man. Even after my mother and sister claimed not to believe me, about my sisters "boyfriend", we all hung out. I just thought my sister had forgiven us. I would hang out, he taught us to drive and we would eat. In 2010, I began to realize that my sister had a fixation on me that wasn't sisterly. She pretended to be someone else and send me a message on Facebook that named particular body-parts and facial features, namely my lips.I thought that it was my sister, because that's the kind of thing she did, but she talked about me like a man that had studied me. That's when I stopped thinking it was her. Except, when I told my cousin, God rest her soul, she was like, "Girl, you know that's..." 

That's my sister's husband, now. It's been over 30-years, and I'm a grown woman. My sister that my mother used to call and have come jump on me in her obesity can barely walk.  and can't walk a grocery store and uses one of those scooters to get around. I don't think, today, that she is mad that her man wanted me, but that I didn't want the both of them. I'm not bi-sexual and if I was, I would never have sex with my sister. I notice that my cousins have sex with one another and my niece. I wouldn't think that if I were experimenting with gay sex that I would want to indulge with any of my family members. 

Now, I'm in love with a man that my mother or sister can't get to. He don't walk through the mall, can be found in a local crack house or deal with people of the underworld syndicate of Oakland County. People have tried to keep us a part for the last 20-years and my mother and sister have been an intricate part of that separation. We love each other, and do not let anyone come between us. My mother, who thought that we wouldn't make it. I know a lot of people thought we would make is, because it has been 18-years. The hopes that I would be living with her as nothing and nobody was her greatest wish. So much so that she used to tell me, "Nobody wants you!" She calls my debilitated sister, hoping that she could somehow threaten me into submission. I'm at the point that I want to go live in a shelter.

My mother steals my clothes, my mail and medication. She puts stuff in my food, and making me feel like I am having a heart attack, and sending my blood pressure sky-high. The stuff she puts in my food also gives me hot-flashes and night sweats. The reason that I have decided to write this is for the last three days, my heart has beat so hard at night, I think it would be out of my chest. My skin feels like it is on fire. I was supposed to have diabetes after taking Abilify shots for over a year. At this point, I'm not sure if I had diabetes or if my mother poisoned my food to the extent that my body acted like I had diabetes. Once, I had to be hospitalized for my diabetes, it was 427. Even after getting two doses of "fast-acting" insulin, my blood sugar wouldn't go down. I learned from the Forensic Center that certain medications react differently on the body. Like steroids give my sister high-blood sugar. Other drugs can cause you to have high-blood pressure and run your sugar up, too. Some can even give you nightmares. It had been a year, since I had taken Abilify. My obese sister questioned why I still had diabetes. She used her situation with steroids as an example. "How come you still have diabetes, if you don't take that medication anymore?" 

I found out while in Oakland County Jail, I had the same kind of symptoms. Headaches, constipation and night sweats. I buy stool softeners and laxatives all the time. If you don't have a bowel movement the medicine can continue to poison your blood stream and make the symptoms last longer. After two days, I take one or the other and get all that poison out of me. I thought I was going through menopause. She never stops and I know that she's been doing it for a year. She doesn't care, any chance she gets she spikes my food. I can't believe that someone could be so jealous of their child they try to make them sick. I have done everything in my power to help my mother. I even left my job to pick her up when I worked at Sears. What did I get? A flower pot to my forehead. I'm losing my sight in my right eye, due to that assault. She was protecting my niece and she now is fascinated with her ex-boyfriend and father of her two children. I never looked at her in such a despicable way. He comes to this house and steals my food out the refrigerator. She is in on a scam, DTE workers damage our refrigerators. Once they go bad, they come in and rip the freezer apart. She told me that they fix them up and and sell them in private sells. They may have a spot where they are sold. She also tries to tear up our landlords home to keep her rent cheap. Our landlord has been more than good to us. We've been through so much here. He steady let's us continue to live here. My mother is a paranoid-schizophrenic. She always thinks that I'm out to get her. That the whole world is against her and out to get her. She killed two of my dogs and four kittens that I had adopted, after their mother gave birth to them on our living-room floor. Over the years, none of our family pets lasted more than a year. They would always get some kind of illness and die.

I once found a dead cat in a cooler in our kitchen. The smell lasted for about three months. One day, I just went to the cooler that was in our kitchen. The smell was so strong over there and there was a dead cat. I took it outside and poured the remains in the field. When I was nine my cat was killed by our next-door-neighbor. He said that my mother had killed his cat and he killed mine in retaliation. I thought he was crazy and that he had lost it. Today, I don't think that is so crazy, after all. I have been poisoned. My life is at risk. I tape my pop and juice when I open it up. Right now, right this minute as I type this my heart is out of control. If I hadn't watch my food I was cooking, today, she would have added more drugs to my food to make me sick. I told her yesterday that I will die on my living-room floor. I'm not going to any hospital in Michigan. They put your name in a pool and flag your name with comments and when you get there, the police can be notified. Just like if you have a warrant or something. My cousins were murdered by the healthcare providers in Pontiac, Mclaren, St. Joe and General Hospital all have ties to prostitution. That's why I'd rather die right in my living-room. They'll have to carry me out my house and to any one of those hospitals.

These hospitals have killed my cousins. I don't know what they have on my mother that makes her want to do me harm. She claims it's my middle sister. She never liked her, until now, she's a doctor and sends her money every month. Money that she turns around and gives to her grand-daughter's ex-boyfriend. She has a closet that she uses to hoard what she steals from me. Somethings that I love so much and need so badly, but she will never give up. Especially my camouflage jeggings, they look so good on me. I'm writing this with no shame. Like everything on this blogs, this is my truth, the way I see it. All events are true. Nothing has been contrived or misrepresented. This is my mother shame and my sister's shame and I'm trying to stay alive. When you see me completely winning and leaving my family completely alone, and begin to judge me. I hope you will be directed to this blog. My family has completely turned their back on me. Maybe the "rolled the dice" and hoped that I would stay "stuck on stupid" and choose my family over a man. He can truly say now, that he was the only person that stayed true to me all the time. Even if he did lie on me. Everyone's "feet were held to the fire", and they cave on me. 

My mother has a closet full of my stuff. All my paperwork, clothes and stuff. She uses her age and walks humped over to get sympathy. There are when older than her that stand straight-up and take good care of themselves. My mother wants to be treated like she is needy. Anyone that believes that are setting themselves up for failure. She will wreck your life. She has been trying to ruin mine all my life. Her sister stayed with her mother, until my grandma died. She just got married last years at 65. I don't want that to be my life. My mother wants it to be mine and she wants to continue to try and make me a miserable, spinster. I am not a spinster. I am smart, I am beautiful and someone loves me. Everyone's best interest was always picked over me. They denied me, Jesus was denied. They lied on me, Jesus was lied on me. He was wrongfully and willingly persecuted. He died, however, for my sins and I don't have to die. I will live to change the situation of the people of Oakland County that are suffering from the greed of the the corruption in Oakland County. I pray that I will live to see it through, because they have my entire family working against me. That's why if I do marry. I will stand on the alter all by myself. NO ONE HAS HELD THEIR OWN WITH THESE MEN AND WOMEN WHO SEEK TO MURDER ME! They all stood against me, when they fought against me. Even my own mother!