Amber "Poor"wood: Manic and not Mean

Amber Portwood
Teen Mom OG

I went to the internet and I found what I deem to be one of the prettiest pictures of Amber that I could find. She is one of the prettiest "real" people on television. She is also the mother of beautiful Leah. I have been watching "Teen Mom" on MTV from the very beginning. I have watched those women grow and I have mad respect for all of them. Yes, that includes Farrah, because she took what she had and created something. It might not be your "cup of tea", but it's someone's. I agree with Macie, however, that her son shouldn't be affiliated with the sex industry in any way. Macie agreed after a while, to film with Farah. Remember? Catelynn and Tyler broke my heart. They live just down M-59 from me. Their story touches me so deep that I often cry at their "ups and down". Especially, when the world tries to tell Tyler that she is broken and that he should leave. Her brokeness is exactly the reason he should stay. Lately, Catelynn has grown into her womanhood and has decided that she is a "Bad Bitch" all on her own and BRAVO! Then there is Amber...

The most beautiful of the four, in my opinion. We have never really seen Cate's and Tyler's daughter, but Leah is the prettiest little girl on the show. Amber has problems with her weight, in her opinion. As a woman who has, too, she is gorgeous. I found myself agreeing with her when she asked Gary, "Why in the f*ck did I ever get with your fat ass?" Gary isn't her equal, neither was the Matt and Andrew has been the closest to her level that she has found. He is fat, too, like Gary. His affiliation with the industry is what makes him qualified and the idea that he is smart about it. Say what you will about any of these "teen moms" they are all smart and are using their platform to not only remain relevant, but make tons of money. Amber has made several comebacks that includes, like me, a stay in prison. She discovered that she is bipolar and has a tendency to be more on the manic side, but as we watch on the show can go through bouts of depression. When she was with Matt, he spent a lot of time caring for Leah. On Amber's turn to have Leah, she would sleep in. Matt would then care for her getting her dressed and meals and stuff. People would feel sorry for Leah, but Leah has Gary. He is just a phone call away. He will be there as fast as his foot can press the peddle. Amber, like most broken people, pick stability out of safety even if they don't know it.

Lisa, is my bipolar friend from jail. I will use my experiences with her to explain Amber's struggles and misunderstanding in society. Dr. Drew is a celebrity psychiatrist and people might feel that he is being paid to wipe Amber's story clean. Dr. Drew is not lying, and Amber has no control of these "fits" of mania. She can feel it as it is coming on and just tries to control it the best way she knows how. Back when she first started abusing pills, she had no idea what it was. She just knew that she "felt funny", and the pills helped her feel better, but not right. Lisa had the same problems, but she used and got addicted to crack. Then she got mixed up with prostitution that landed her in mental institutions and jail where she and I met. She had long periods where she was able to manage her illness. She thought that she could fight it, by knowing which state she was in. With manic tendencies, it is so hard to manage the irritability and anger that you experience. Everything is a reason to fight and get upset with those closest to them who suffer. There is a video released by this horrid woman named Katie Joy. Katie Joy is an oxymoron if I ever heard one. For Amber, the "joy" of her reports are just fuel to the fire. Katie Joy's attack and "news reports" on Amber are so vicious that YouTube should remove her likeness from their social media platform. If Amber had cancer and an outsider like Katie Joy got the footage of her tumor being removed and showed it with commentary, would we gather around to watch? We probably would give her a million likes or allow her damage be reported? We would be wrong, though! What about the women that Weinstein raped, if there was footage of that, would we watch a woman be raped? Allow it on Facebook and Instagram?

It is true that Amber exposes herself on MTV all the time. The name of the show is "Teen Mom" and not "Bipolar". She agreed to tell about her struggles as a teenage mother. Now, as a young woman, with bipolar disease, and who is also a mother for the second time.. It seems to me that Amber also gets worse with every child she has. A hormone imbalance and a chemical imbalance is serious and dangerous. You add the pettiness of a woman trying to make a name of herself and Amber becomes a victim...In my opinion. There is a video going around of Kanye West saying that he is God. As a person who has lived in a mental institution three times at two different facilities, he was in a psychotic state at the time. I can look at him and I can tell that Kanye has gone and there is another man, out of touch, answering a question. Kanye, like a lot of people with mental illness, has learned to mask his illness in sane times. Like last week, when he said that he was going to name himself "Billionaire-Genius". He was sane at that moment, trying to seem insane and make his insane moments sane. Taking medication is tricky, because even if it makes the world deal with you better, it turns you into someone that you can't understand. For creative people like Kanye West, that is death to his reason for living; creativity.

You can look at the footage and know that he's not right. How do you create such an elegant point, so forcefully and intellectual if your not insane? I mean, you can see he is totally in a psychotic state. I can, because the flailing of his arms and the way he speaks. They try to tie me into a mental illness, because I talk with my hands. I have situational depression that makes me angry. What Amber and Kanye has is part of their make-up, and no situation would change the outcome. It is nothing like I just witnessed with Kanye West. He eyes and every part of his body is engulfed in what he is saying. He's looking around, almost as if to see if someone is coming to get him. He is in such a delusional state that he believed that what he has to say is so important that someone wants to stop him from saying it. It is all right there in the video. He has also found a mate that is going to help him. To the Kardashians, family is everything. Kim has four children with him. She's going to stick by him, like she does Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, Kylie and Rob (as soon as he gets his stuff together). She may be into herself and her looks, but she don't care about "them", but she cares about him. She will not leave him, until he does something so irreprehensible that she can't take it anymore. Until then, they are the Wests.

Amber may not be as big as the Wests, but she is a very watchable person. I have watched a portion of the tapes that shows her bipolar episodes. Katie Joy, in all her resourcefulness has video of inside Amber's home. I don't know why that isn't a crime and she is responding and giving commentary about what is going on in Amber's home. When did what went on in someone's home become our business. You are liable to hear stuff you wouldn't otherwise hear. First, someone having sex, cussing out their mate or having a manic episode that isn't the same as cussing out your mate. A person who is angry at their mate is one thing, but a manic episode is another. It is a private matter, unless it spills out onto the street to be seen and heard by others. People feel safe in their homes to say whatever  they want. Doing this a whole other story. Amber is so sick. She might be upset about it, but it is her truth. To embrace it, wholly is the difference between jail and prison and prison and the "nut"house. Everyone's truth is different, and in this case, we need to support Amber and not this Katie Joy person. Who called the DA to get Amber put back in prison. A person who has never been to prison, would do that! She has called herself exposing Amber, but in my opinion, she just confirmed for me that Amber needs help and should stick closely to her medication regimen. I just explained to my mother that people with schizophrenia and bipolar can break out of their medication and their disease can be stronger than the hold the medication has. Lisa was court-ordered to get a shot. She was so disruptive to the township she lives in the police would come and take her to get the shot. This led to other issues, but the city had no other choice.

Bipolar disease can be escalated by your situation, too. It seems to me that Andrew is gay and used Amber to make a child. She eludes to it in several videos, but I don't know if it's the same recording.  Amber has been to prison and may have had sex with women, she does not want to be a man. Just like Kris Jenner. She gave Bruce Jenner Kendall and Kylie, because he wanted to have babies. At the time, she did not know that he wanted to be a woman and having them was just a way to fulfill his fantasy of being a mother. Amber feels that she has been duped, too, which exasperates her bipolar antics. If you ever watch the show, he is always tending to the child. We might think that it's due to her being depressed or ill. I think that Andrew wanted a baby and James was a trick he played on Amber. With her anger issues, just like Gary, he's going to raise James. She lost Leah the same way. Amber feels that she was used and all this is a clever ruse to take her child. A child she admits she didn't want. She is heard saying, "Take him and leave!" You might think that she doesn't want her child. No, she just knows that he wants him more. He is doing all he can to get him.  "Just go!" I have had a friend that went through that, too. But her boyfriend beat her love for her children out of her. Beat her to the point that she hated she ever carried his children. She used to leave dirty diapers on them all day to pay him back. Like the woman that drowned her husband's son in "The Joy Luck Club". Women should not take their troubles our on their children, but they do. Why? Because no one is perfect.

For me the video is hard to watch. I see a desperate, manic and frustrated woman. Everyday activities are difficult in a manic phase. You can't seem to be able to to think straight. Lisa would yell and growl at her sister and ex-boyfriend. Andrew keeps saying things like, "What's wrong with you?" He knows what's wrong with her, she is bipolar. If you can recall, Sinead O'Connor crying out for help. Her family is so tired of her; literally! All her antics and disruptions. People like her and Amber end up in jail, prison or worse mental institutions where they are sexually and mentally abused further. We must not look at Amber as a bully or troublemaker. We must not judge her ways are actions as a "normal" person. She is not normal, she is bipolar. It is her normal, however, and we should not judge. I suffer from agonizing depression that has been brought on by everything I've been through. The people that did it to me, want to point out my irritability and lack of putting up with bullsh*t as a sign of mental illness. In an ideal situation, it's hard not to be depressed. My kind of depression is linked to serious anger and vocal fits. I accept it, but I never had it, until I went to prison for something I didn't do. I think the realization that Andrew used her to have James is a sore spot. Put that with the illness and you have a bomb. In a manic episode she can get violent and become uncontrollable.

There is no "Teen Mom" franchise like the first. Catelynn, Macie, Farrah and Amber are the originators. They are now tackling every relevant issues in society. With Amber's situation and her critics they may push her to commit suicide or make an attempt. As her true fans, which I am one, we should support and hold her up and try our best to understand. Block Katie "Joy" and force Youtube to remove her videos. These young women have shown the world that life is not easy. Adoption, drug abuse, mental-illness, the porn industry and unconventional families are seen every episode. This is good television. This may have started as a fluke of controversy, but has turned into a lesson in living. No one has a perfect life or situation. Following these women is a testament to survival. And survivors survive...

Macie, Amber, Farrah and Catelynn
(from left to right)