Amber "Poor"wood: Manic and not Mean

Amber Portwood
Teen Mom OG

I went to the internet and I found what I deem to be one of the prettiest pictures of Amber that I could find. She is one of the prettiest "real" people on television. She is also the mother of beautiful Leah. I have been watching "Teen Mom" on MTV from the very beginning. I have watched those women grow and I have mad respect for all of them. Yes, that includes Farrah, because she took what she had and created something. It might not be your "cup of tea", but it's someone's. I agree with Macie, however, that her son shouldn't be affiliated with the sex industry in any way. Macie agreed after a while, to film with Farah. Remember? Catelynn and Tyler broke my heart. They live just down M-59 from me. Their story touches me so deep that I often cry at their "ups and down". Especially, when the world tries to tell Tyler that she is broken and that he should leave. Her brokeness is exactly the reason he should stay. Lately, Catelynn has grown into her womanhood and has decided that she is a "Bad Bitch" all on her own and BRAVO! Then there is Amber...

The most beautiful of the four, in my opinion. We have never really seen Cate's and Tyler's daughter, but Leah is the prettiest little girl on the show. Amber has problems with her weight, in her opinion. As a woman who has, too, she is gorgeous. I found myself agreeing with her when she asked Gary, "Why in the f*ck did I ever get with your fat ass?" Gary isn't her equal, neither was the Matt and Andrew has been the closest to her level that she has found. He is fat, too, like Gary. His affiliation with the industry is what makes him qualified and the idea that he is smart about it. Say what you will about any of these "teen moms" they are all smart and are using their platform to not only remain relevant, but make tons of money. Amber has made several comebacks that includes, like me, a stay in prison. She discovered that she is bipolar and has a tendency to be more on the manic side, but as we watch on the show can go through bouts of depression. When she was with Matt, he spent a lot of time caring for Leah. On Amber's turn to have Leah, she would sleep in. Matt would then care for her getting her dressed and meals and stuff. People would feel sorry for Leah, but Leah has Gary. He is just a phone call away. He will be there as fast as his foot can press the peddle. Amber, like most broken people, pick stability out of safety even if they don't know it.

Lisa, is my bipolar friend from jail. I will use my experiences with her to explain Amber's struggles and misunderstanding in society. Dr. Drew is a celebrity psychiatrist and people might feel that he is being paid to wipe Amber's story clean. Dr. Drew is not lying, and Amber has no control of these "fits" of mania. She can feel it as it is coming on and just tries to control it the best way she knows how. Back when she first started abusing pills, she had no idea what it was. She just knew that she "felt funny", and the pills helped her feel better, but not right. Lisa had the same problems, but she used and got addicted to crack. Then she got mixed up with prostitution that landed her in mental institutions and jail where she and I met. She had long periods where she was able to manage her illness. She thought that she could fight it, by knowing which state she was in. With manic tendencies, it is so hard to manage the irritability and anger that you experience. Everything is a reason to fight and get upset with those closest to them who suffer. There is a video released by this horrid woman named Katie Joy. Katie Joy is an oxymoron if I ever heard one. For Amber, the "joy" of her reports are just fuel to the fire. Katie Joy's attack and "news reports" on Amber are so vicious that YouTube should remove her likeness from their social media platform. If Amber had cancer and an outsider like Katie Joy got the footage of her tumor being removed and showed it with commentary, would we gather around to watch? We probably would give her a million likes or allow her damage be reported? We would be wrong, though! What about the women that Weinstein raped, if there was footage of that, would we watch a woman be raped? Allow it on Facebook and Instagram?

It is true that Amber exposes herself on MTV all the time. The name of the show is "Teen Mom" and not "Bipolar". She agreed to tell about her struggles as a teenage mother. Now, as a young woman, with bipolar disease, and who is also a mother for the second time.. It seems to me that Amber also gets worse with every child she has. A hormone imbalance and a chemical imbalance is serious and dangerous. You add the pettiness of a woman trying to make a name of herself and Amber becomes a victim...In my opinion. There is a video going around of Kanye West saying that he is God. As a person who has lived in a mental institution three times at two different facilities, he was in a psychotic state at the time. I can look at him and I can tell that Kanye has gone and there is another man, out of touch, answering a question. Kanye, like a lot of people with mental illness, has learned to mask his illness in sane times. Like last week, when he said that he was going to name himself "Billionaire-Genius". He was sane at that moment, trying to seem insane and make his insane moments sane. Taking medication is tricky, because even if it makes the world deal with you better, it turns you into someone that you can't understand. For creative people like Kanye West, that is death to his reason for living; creativity.

You can look at the footage and know that he's not right. How do you create such an elegant point, so forcefully and intellectual if your not insane? I mean, you can see he is totally in a psychotic state. I can, because the flailing of his arms and the way he speaks. They try to tie me into a mental illness, because I talk with my hands. I have situational depression that makes me angry. What Amber and Kanye has is part of their make-up, and no situation would change the outcome. It is nothing like I just witnessed with Kanye West. He eyes and every part of his body is engulfed in what he is saying. He's looking around, almost as if to see if someone is coming to get him. He is in such a delusional state that he believed that what he has to say is so important that someone wants to stop him from saying it. It is all right there in the video. He has also found a mate that is going to help him. To the Kardashians, family is everything. Kim has four children with him. She's going to stick by him, like she does Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, Kylie and Rob (as soon as he gets his stuff together). She may be into herself and her looks, but she don't care about "them", but she cares about him. She will not leave him, until he does something so irreprehensible that she can't take it anymore. Until then, they are the Wests.

Amber may not be as big as the Wests, but she is a very watchable person. I have watched a portion of the tapes that shows her bipolar episodes. Katie Joy, in all her resourcefulness has video of inside Amber's home. I don't know why that isn't a crime and she is responding and giving commentary about what is going on in Amber's home. When did what went on in someone's home become our business. You are liable to hear stuff you wouldn't otherwise hear. First, someone having sex, cussing out their mate or having a manic episode that isn't the same as cussing out your mate. A person who is angry at their mate is one thing, but a manic episode is another. It is a private matter, unless it spills out onto the street to be seen and heard by others. People feel safe in their homes to say whatever  they want. Doing this a whole other story. Amber is so sick. She might be upset about it, but it is her truth. To embrace it, wholly is the difference between jail and prison and prison and the "nut"house. Everyone's truth is different, and in this case, we need to support Amber and not this Katie Joy person. Who called the DA to get Amber put back in prison. A person who has never been to prison, would do that! She has called herself exposing Amber, but in my opinion, she just confirmed for me that Amber needs help and should stick closely to her medication regimen. I just explained to my mother that people with schizophrenia and bipolar can break out of their medication and their disease can be stronger than the hold the medication has. Lisa was court-ordered to get a shot. She was so disruptive to the township she lives in the police would come and take her to get the shot. This led to other issues, but the city had no other choice.

Bipolar disease can be escalated by your situation, too. It seems to me that Andrew is gay and used Amber to make a child. She eludes to it in several videos, but I don't know if it's the same recording.  Amber has been to prison and may have had sex with women, she does not want to be a man. Just like Kris Jenner. She gave Bruce Jenner Kendall and Kylie, because he wanted to have babies. At the time, she did not know that he wanted to be a woman and having them was just a way to fulfill his fantasy of being a mother. Amber feels that she has been duped, too, which exasperates her bipolar antics. If you ever watch the show, he is always tending to the child. We might think that it's due to her being depressed or ill. I think that Andrew wanted a baby and James was a trick he played on Amber. With her anger issues, just like Gary, he's going to raise James. She lost Leah the same way. Amber feels that she was used and all this is a clever ruse to take her child. A child she admits she didn't want. She is heard saying, "Take him and leave!" You might think that she doesn't want her child. No, she just knows that he wants him more. He is doing all he can to get him.  "Just go!" I have had a friend that went through that, too. But her boyfriend beat her love for her children out of her. Beat her to the point that she hated she ever carried his children. She used to leave dirty diapers on them all day to pay him back. Like the woman that drowned her husband's son in "The Joy Luck Club". Women should not take their troubles our on their children, but they do. Why? Because no one is perfect.

For me the video is hard to watch. I see a desperate, manic and frustrated woman. Everyday activities are difficult in a manic phase. You can't seem to be able to to think straight. Lisa would yell and growl at her sister and ex-boyfriend. Andrew keeps saying things like, "What's wrong with you?" He knows what's wrong with her, she is bipolar. If you can recall, Sinead O'Connor crying out for help. Her family is so tired of her; literally! All her antics and disruptions. People like her and Amber end up in jail, prison or worse mental institutions where they are sexually and mentally abused further. We must not look at Amber as a bully or troublemaker. We must not judge her ways are actions as a "normal" person. She is not normal, she is bipolar. It is her normal, however, and we should not judge. I suffer from agonizing depression that has been brought on by everything I've been through. The people that did it to me, want to point out my irritability and lack of putting up with bullsh*t as a sign of mental illness. In an ideal situation, it's hard not to be depressed. My kind of depression is linked to serious anger and vocal fits. I accept it, but I never had it, until I went to prison for something I didn't do. I think the realization that Andrew used her to have James is a sore spot. Put that with the illness and you have a bomb. In a manic episode she can get violent and become uncontrollable.

There is no "Teen Mom" franchise like the first. Catelynn, Macie, Farrah and Amber are the originators. They are now tackling every relevant issues in society. With Amber's situation and her critics they may push her to commit suicide or make an attempt. As her true fans, which I am one, we should support and hold her up and try our best to understand. Block Katie "Joy" and force Youtube to remove her videos. These young women have shown the world that life is not easy. Adoption, drug abuse, mental-illness, the porn industry and unconventional families are seen every episode. This is good television. This may have started as a fluke of controversy, but has turned into a lesson in living. No one has a perfect life or situation. Following these women is a testament to survival. And survivors survive...

Macie, Amber, Farrah and Catelynn
(from left to right)

Living to Tell the Tale

The relationship between a mother and daughter is special. It is also different person-to-person. I have had a special relationship with my mother all my life. After my father left in 1975, I slept in the bed with my mother. When were super young, it was me, her and my little brother. It was always the three of us. Since my middle sister and I are three years apart, it was like she has two-sets of children. The first three and the last two. I have memories that go as far back as four-years old. Kresge's and riding the bus. When I started first-grade and my little brother hadn't started school, yet. He and my mother would go on the bus and take care of business. I would come home and the door would be locked and I would sit on the porch for a few minutes, and the bus would stop and my mother and brother would exit and my life was better, again. Shortly after that, my sisters would come home with my big brother and the house was full, and again I was full.

As time went on things began to change. My big brother spent his days at his best friends house. My sister's as always were besties and I had my little brother. They would come and take him away from me, every now and then. We grew and I stayed in the bed with my mother. I was always different. I never got caught up. I never did drugs or engaged in weird sex practices. Not only did I face scrutiny in school and in the streets, but in my own home. I was ostracized among my older sisters and brothers, beat and made fun of to end. It's true that is part of growing up. I know we all have had to endure torture from their brothers and sisters, but this was different. It has flowed into our adult life and I am facing the fight of my life, with people that I can't even see, but I know my family is against me and it hurts to the depths of my soul. Once she taints my food, commercials run on television and ads on Facebook that warn of heart attacks and strokes. Why they want to get me sick and in the hospital can only mean they want to harm me further.

My mother whose bed I left at 13-years old. She got a big bedroom in one or the many apartments that we lived in and I took my brothers old bunk-bed. The room was so big that I was able to set it up next to her bed and finally sleep on my own. I even put up posters of George Michael and Michael Jackson to make it feel like a true teenager's bedroom. Then I moved into the room vacated by my sister, who had moved out. One night, after beating me for spending $.80 more than she told me to, out of her five-dollar bill. It got out of control and my mother ended up with a busted capillary in her head and the apartment had blood all over the place. Many things happened that year that include my older sister's new boyfriend meeting me at the bus stop two to three times a week. Parking in a parking lot and asking me to have sex with him. I told my mother and my sister and they both told me that I was lying and there was something that I did. Then we were kicked out of our apartment and my sister kicked me out of her house, and I was homeless. She and my mother always have big plans for my life. My mother always calls my sister to fight me when she starts mess with me. My sister now, is morbidly obese and my mother can't call her anymore.

My mother has stopped eating, and didn't eat anything for days sometimes. She got down to 150-pounds. I had to call my sister, because she wanted to make me look bad, so bad, she was emaciated and looked like she was wasting away. I knew she didn't want me to feel sorry for her. She was still going through my stuff and stealing whatever she thought was important to me. She let her hair go completely white and walked with a cane when she went out. A cane that she didn't need, because subconsciously, she would leave it everywhere she went with it. Meijer started keeping it, and my sisters "husband" got her a new one from his job. Her doctor, Dr. Mohammed Kahn is in on it. He claims that her blood pressure is high. She got a toothache and I took her to the dentist, and her blood pressure was almost perfect. My blood pressure was 222/119 the last time I went to see my mental health provider. She tries to make it seem like I'm making her suffer, but it is so hard to live with a person that takes every opportunity to taint your food and make you sick. I can tell you it is very frustrating.

After that, they have both attacked me in so many ways. That includes searching out my boyfriends and telling me which one were gay, dope-addicts of both. When we got kicked out of our apartment due to things they said that I have done. I just refuse to pick-up trash that wasn't my responsibility. My mother and I went to stay with my sister at her condo. She had been tricking with an old man since she was about 16-years old. I guess she thought that it was my time to get involved with some form of prostitution. The man that she was with, her "boyfriend" was married. Not only did he have her, but a wife and my sister was still tricking with the old man. Even after my mother and sister claimed not to believe me, about my sisters "boyfriend", we all hung out. I just thought my sister had forgiven us. I would hang out, he taught us to drive and we would eat. In 2010, I began to realize that my sister had a fixation on me that wasn't sisterly. She pretended to be someone else and send me a message on Facebook that named particular body-parts and facial features, namely my lips.I thought that it was my sister, because that's the kind of thing she did, but she talked about me like a man that had studied me. That's when I stopped thinking it was her. Except, when I told my cousin, God rest her soul, she was like, "Girl, you know that's..." 

That's my sister's husband, now. It's been over 30-years, and I'm a grown woman. My sister that my mother used to call and have come jump on me in her obesity can barely walk.  and can't walk a grocery store and uses one of those scooters to get around. I don't think, today, that she is mad that her man wanted me, but that I didn't want the both of them. I'm not bi-sexual and if I was, I would never have sex with my sister. I notice that my cousins have sex with one another and my niece. I wouldn't think that if I were experimenting with gay sex that I would want to indulge with any of my family members. 

Now, I'm in love with a man that my mother or sister can't get to. He don't walk through the mall, can be found in a local crack house or deal with people of the underworld syndicate of Oakland County. People have tried to keep us a part for the last 20-years and my mother and sister have been an intricate part of that separation. We love each other, and do not let anyone come between us. My mother, who thought that we wouldn't make it. I know a lot of people thought we would make is, because it has been 18-years. The hopes that I would be living with her as nothing and nobody was her greatest wish. So much so that she used to tell me, "Nobody wants you!" She calls my debilitated sister, hoping that she could somehow threaten me into submission. I'm at the point that I want to go live in a shelter.

My mother steals my clothes, my mail and medication. She puts stuff in my food, and making me feel like I am having a heart attack, and sending my blood pressure sky-high. The stuff she puts in my food also gives me hot-flashes and night sweats. The reason that I have decided to write this is for the last three days, my heart has beat so hard at night, I think it would be out of my chest. My skin feels like it is on fire. I was supposed to have diabetes after taking Abilify shots for over a year. At this point, I'm not sure if I had diabetes or if my mother poisoned my food to the extent that my body acted like I had diabetes. Once, I had to be hospitalized for my diabetes, it was 427. Even after getting two doses of "fast-acting" insulin, my blood sugar wouldn't go down. I learned from the Forensic Center that certain medications react differently on the body. Like steroids give my sister high-blood sugar. Other drugs can cause you to have high-blood pressure and run your sugar up, too. Some can even give you nightmares. It had been a year, since I had taken Abilify. My obese sister questioned why I still had diabetes. She used her situation with steroids as an example. "How come you still have diabetes, if you don't take that medication anymore?" 

I found out while in Oakland County Jail, I had the same kind of symptoms. Headaches, constipation and night sweats. I buy stool softeners and laxatives all the time. If you don't have a bowel movement the medicine can continue to poison your blood stream and make the symptoms last longer. After two days, I take one or the other and get all that poison out of me. I thought I was going through menopause. She never stops and I know that she's been doing it for a year. She doesn't care, any chance she gets she spikes my food. I can't believe that someone could be so jealous of their child they try to make them sick. I have done everything in my power to help my mother. I even left my job to pick her up when I worked at Sears. What did I get? A flower pot to my forehead. I'm losing my sight in my right eye, due to that assault. She was protecting my niece and she now is fascinated with her ex-boyfriend and father of her two children. I never looked at her in such a despicable way. He comes to this house and steals my food out the refrigerator. She is in on a scam, DTE workers damage our refrigerators. Once they go bad, they come in and rip the freezer apart. She told me that they fix them up and and sell them in private sells. They may have a spot where they are sold. She also tries to tear up our landlords home to keep her rent cheap. Our landlord has been more than good to us. We've been through so much here. He steady let's us continue to live here. My mother is a paranoid-schizophrenic. She always thinks that I'm out to get her. That the whole world is against her and out to get her. She killed two of my dogs and four kittens that I had adopted, after their mother gave birth to them on our living-room floor. Over the years, none of our family pets lasted more than a year. They would always get some kind of illness and die.

I once found a dead cat in a cooler in our kitchen. The smell lasted for about three months. One day, I just went to the cooler that was in our kitchen. The smell was so strong over there and there was a dead cat. I took it outside and poured the remains in the field. When I was nine my cat was killed by our next-door-neighbor. He said that my mother had killed his cat and he killed mine in retaliation. I thought he was crazy and that he had lost it. Today, I don't think that is so crazy, after all. I have been poisoned. My life is at risk. I tape my pop and juice when I open it up. Right now, right this minute as I type this my heart is out of control. If I hadn't watch my food I was cooking, today, she would have added more drugs to my food to make me sick. I told her yesterday that I will die on my living-room floor. I'm not going to any hospital in Michigan. They put your name in a pool and flag your name with comments and when you get there, the police can be notified. Just like if you have a warrant or something. My cousins were murdered by the healthcare providers in Pontiac, Mclaren, St. Joe and General Hospital all have ties to prostitution. That's why I'd rather die right in my living-room. They'll have to carry me out my house and to any one of those hospitals.

These hospitals have killed my cousins. I don't know what they have on my mother that makes her want to do me harm. She claims it's my middle sister. She never liked her, until now, she's a doctor and sends her money every month. Money that she turns around and gives to her grand-daughter's ex-boyfriend. She has a closet that she uses to hoard what she steals from me. Somethings that I love so much and need so badly, but she will never give up. Especially my camouflage jeggings, they look so good on me. I'm writing this with no shame. Like everything on this blogs, this is my truth, the way I see it. All events are true. Nothing has been contrived or misrepresented. This is my mother shame and my sister's shame and I'm trying to stay alive. When you see me completely winning and leaving my family completely alone, and begin to judge me. I hope you will be directed to this blog. My family has completely turned their back on me. Maybe the "rolled the dice" and hoped that I would stay "stuck on stupid" and choose my family over a man. He can truly say now, that he was the only person that stayed true to me all the time. Even if he did lie on me. Everyone's "feet were held to the fire", and they cave on me. 

My mother has a closet full of my stuff. All my paperwork, clothes and stuff. She uses her age and walks humped over to get sympathy. There are when older than her that stand straight-up and take good care of themselves. My mother wants to be treated like she is needy. Anyone that believes that are setting themselves up for failure. She will wreck your life. She has been trying to ruin mine all my life. Her sister stayed with her mother, until my grandma died. She just got married last years at 65. I don't want that to be my life. My mother wants it to be mine and she wants to continue to try and make me a miserable, spinster. I am not a spinster. I am smart, I am beautiful and someone loves me. Everyone's best interest was always picked over me. They denied me, Jesus was denied. They lied on me, Jesus was lied on me. He was wrongfully and willingly persecuted. He died, however, for my sins and I don't have to die. I will live to change the situation of the people of Oakland County that are suffering from the greed of the the corruption in Oakland County. I pray that I will live to see it through, because they have my entire family working against me. That's why if I do marry. I will stand on the alter all by myself. NO ONE HAS HELD THEIR OWN WITH THESE MEN AND WOMEN WHO SEEK TO MURDER ME! They all stood against me, when they fought against me. Even my own mother! 

An Open Letter to Mrs. Deirdre Waterman: Mayor of the City of Pontiac

Dear Honorable Mayor Waterman:

First I would like to thank you for your tireless comment to the City of Pontiac. You have brought this city from obscurity. We have fought many battles, seen and unseen. Your efforts to move us forward is a testament to your ability to "fight the good fight". You stay the course towards better days. Again, I thank you and your administration. Jane, Dewayne, Alex and Troy are on the forefront, working with you and for you to bring about the change that is so needed in this city. I believe that your efforts will bring this city back from potential ruin. In my opinion, you only have our best interest at heart.

Last week, I wrote a blog about bonds. I stand by everything that I wrote in that blog. I don't think at this point, it would be wise to seek bonds for the reconstruction of the Phoenix Center. I don't think that all the avenues have been researched and implemented. I would ask that you would make an effort, to find a partner in these last two months you have to meet the terms of the deal. I know you are a woman with a strong will. I know that you have your mind focused on the task at hand. Sometimes the job is so much that you can't focus. You cannot see the potential on new thoughts and new ideas. I hope, however, that you don't take my blog as a hit to your plans for the city. Sometimes, people have a difference of opinions. It does not mean that you have to throw away the entire relationship. I'm sure, you can relate, because you lived with one of the greatest litigators in Michigan's history. His war with L. Brooks Patterson was infamous. You manage to not only be his peace, but survive in such a fiery living situation. I can see now how you made it. You are a force, and like my old friend Bob Kaiser used to tell me. "Water finds its own level." If you were on his level you are great in your own right. I respect that immensely. So, please know that.

I writing this letter to ask you for a favor as a constituent, as a constituent and citizen that voted for you in the last election. Please, stop going to those City Council Meetings. I have set flyers out in the city to recall Kermit Williams. Sadly, I have not received any feedback. I think that my flyers were taken down. I would go to the meetings to make a public announcement, but you know what's going on with that. After last weeks blog, I was courted by people to start coming back to the meetings. I am not a dog that you punish and austrucize when you don't like my views, and welcome me when you like my opinions. Besides, you get enough disrespect at those city council meetings that I would never stand in that place and try and under-mind your precepts about your work. I think that maybe there is something that I don't know. I did do the survey and I did pick a venue. I wouldn't attend either, honestly. My current situation makes every city function a trap for me and I make an effort to not attend any of them. On account of my freedom is valuable to me, therefore, I digress.

I want you to stop attending these meetings for that very reason. Those meetings are one of the major places that we as citizens can see you working. President Williams gives this city a cruel and disrespectful view of who you are. He demonizes you, and makes your presence there that of a pariah and not the great leader you are. He will not let you speak, or give an opinion. He claims that you go on too long. Councilperson Patrice Waterman's vernacular is so harsh and damning. Every word that comes out of her mouth is spewed like a venom meant to cut to the core and negate everything you have to say, and everything the Council is trying to accomplish. Heavy sighs and sharp movement that are caught on camera and are intended to spark a atmosphere of  treason. She is always the first to stand-up and walk-out in an act of defiance. Always the one that points out what they are doing wrong, but I wonder if she tries to fix it?

I don't know, because it is the Council's meeting, does that mean that they have a right to act a fool? You go to that circus, every week. You and the Deputy Mayor are so classy. Even when you get angry, your actions are still as "cool as a cucumber". That's how I now that you represent our city well in court, a county or state meeting. I cannot say the same about the other council members. Williams no longer allows his council members to rant for more time than allotted time that they have. Instead of spending her time on you, Councilperson Gloria Miller talks about her district and their problems. That I still thinks that she somehow wants to make your fault. That's why council-people have district to be able to budget for the care of their land. If she has a problem with grass and trees she needs to budget to have the lawn mowed in certain areas and sidewalks. I still do not think that she understand what her job is, however, and I think she should take a civics class. Randy Carter, the cussing councilman has problems with you. So deep that he made a video and referred to you and your Deputy Mayor as a "Skank" and a "Ho". You handled that so well. Thank you...

I never did hear any of the Council denounce his views. No righteous indignation from any of the women up there! A testament to the way they feel about themselves and other women in our community. They can't see that, because their focus is all on YOU! Their vision of what a woman is is lost, because of their resentment of YOU! I don't think that Randy Carter likes women. I don't think that he respects them. Having been in close relationships with abused women in my past. Men don't say, "I respect all women, just not those two women". What is that? He disrespected every woman in this city when he called "Skanks and "HO's". I was offended! His wife, State Representative Brenda Carter, never made a statement about her righteous indignation about her husbands vile and inhumane words. I haven't heard anything publicly. If she did it privately that is not acceptable. The apology should equal the disrespect. He did it in public and he should apologize in public. Swiping past it and walking out is nuts! This is a Trump America! When a man of his office calls names? Rep. Carter has had death in her family. Mrs. Carter lost her son. I would respect her grieving, but I am her friend on Facebook. She has not missed a day of political banter online, since her own son's death. Everyday, she has, in her own words, posted political commentary. Even where it pertains to her family. Besides, while he calling "HO's", he has men sleeping out in the open at a closed and condemned restaurant. Yes, there was a man yesterday, around eight o'clock sleeping on a mattress at the old KFC on Baldwin. He made it clear where his district ends and Councilperson Pietilia begins, and it's his district.

You have a degree in Medicine. Deputy Mayor DiSessa has a Master's in Public Administration. None of the Council member have that kind of education or experience. I know Taylor-Burks has a Master's, but I don't think it is in Public Administration. You should be held at a high esteem. You have so much class, in my opinion, because you never point out the lack of education among the Council. Pontiac is infamous for alienating people that don't fall in line with their ways. Even if you fit into one category, if you don't fall into all, you are dismissed. That's my biggest problem in this city. I want you do stop going to those meetings. PLEASE. The charter says you should be there, but I say, based on "Robert's Rules of Order" that you need to be respected while you are there. If you cannot be, as a constituent, please! I hate the way Williams make you look small. I hate the way he brings you down to a level that is unbecoming of your stature as a Mayor. I hate it! You deserve so much better. I know that is the largest forum that allows you to reach the people. I say you use your platform to create a forum that you control and you can shine in your own light.

This country was built on a set of rules. Those rules are signified in our Constitution. One of the most overlooked decrees in the our Constitution. The right to start over and rewrite the rules, when they fail to work based on a corrupt government. Kermit Williams is practicing anarchy in that City Council Chambers. He breaks all the rules when he want, when he doesn't follow the rules set forth by "Robert's Rules of Order". That is the accepted conduct in all open meeting and is the general rule of order across this country. Everytime he ignores you and don't allow you to speak, he disregards "Robert's Rules", he is breaking the law and therefore those meetings are anarchy in full effect. Since no one seems to want to change it or do anything about it. Please remove yourself and exercise some anarchy of your own. Showing up, is just giving him a platform to make you look bad. We both know that how you treat people is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. We also know that sometimes people don't care. When people don't care, we have to and just walk away. You are not dealing with ethical and moral people. You are working with a set of laws, and not a set of ethics. What you do is governed by rules that are not being followed. Seek your recourse that doesn't include judges. I love you with the love of God. Peace... 

Lesley

Don't Believe the Hype!

I was at the laundromat, yesterday. The woman there has worked there for three years. I have been going there for more than three years. I have seen her for three years, too. I left jail the last time, in March of 2015. We have lived in our apartment for 32 years, and have never had a basement or a place for a washer or dryer and we always have to do our laundry at a public launderer. Even before we moved here. My sister who is a doctor now, has three sets of washer and dryers in three different cities. It's just something about being poor all your life that makes it hard not to have anything in excess. She and I both have an underwear fetish that my mother doesn't understand. It's really hard to tell her that it is her fault, and I simply reply, "I like them, they are pretty!" Having a large number of underwear, also prevents me from going to wash more often than I want. I dropped a sock, yesterday when putting my laundry in the dryer and once after taking it out. Upon picking up the second sock, she told me, "You keep losing socks. They don't want to go home with YOU!"

I laughed it off, because I'm supposed to be a violent person. So says the "pimps" at Oakland County Jail (OCJ). As I get older, it becomes a chore. I was had been greeted by my laundromat "friend", "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while!" But she soon turned on me as people came to do their clothes. Everytime I go to do laundry, the police send people to harass me. She does her best to avoid trouble with them, because when I have left, she'll have to deal with them. Mostly they send gays. They still can't wrap their minds around the idea that I am not gay or bi-sexual. I explained that I've been coming in the afternoon and evenings. "I been lazy, lately." It's really none of her business, but she likes to equate my laundry to her ability to determine how clean I am or maybe, I've been back to jail. I have to remember, my cousin says that I have to say, "the way I see it". This is all my interpretations, but I have only been challenged once, and that was about the blog I wrote on Axe. The police dog that was supposed to be murdered by a Black man in St. Claire Shores. In reality, it was more likely that the dog was murdered by the police. By the time the dog is seen running from the scene, in the opposite direction, the man's gun had jammed. 

White people from South-East Michigan was so upset with me about that dog. I told them that a man died and a child, unborn had lost a father. They were collecting money for the dog. I sat right at my laptop and defended that man's life over that dogs. Once the report came out and we saw the dog uninjured running away from the scene, the hype about the dog settles down. Yet, they were all on television before, claiming a dog is a cop and that his life was a value as one of their own. I know police that do not agree with that idea, and feel that a man's life it is worth far more than a dog. Police need to be more careful when a situation like that. As it stands, the dog was killed by police and not the man and I was pretty much safe to say they devalued that man's life, due to his Blackness.

Councilman Don Woodward
Rest in Peace

I've written about so many people in my city, and I've never gotten any feedback like I did about Axe. I recently wrote a blog about the wife of ex-councilperson Kone Bowman. Councilman Woodward is dead. He died peacefully at home. He had resigned on Tuesday at the City Council Meeting. I had missed that portion of the meeting. If I had know, the Bowman blog would have taken a whole other tone. He used to be the Councilman of District 2, back in the day. Now, in my mind, his wife listening in on my session with my healthcare provider makes sense. Maybe Kone Bowman wants his old job back. There has been talk of a replacement for Woodward, but Bowman's name has never come up in these conversations. I posted my cousin's request for me to stop writing about Bowman. I had stopped a year ago, but he has opened a door for a "situation" to occur. He put out a "Public Announcement" like he is still a public figure in his wife's defense. My cousin has ignored my messages, but has not requested that I stop either. They called me from CNS weeks ago, before my appointment was due to come in. I feel, this spying on me was always in the works, because Councilman Woodward's condition was getting worse. Getting the jump on me was vital. My blogs are very popular among the people.

These people, these law enforcement men and women, are nasty people. They harbor murderers and men that have sex with their biological children. They were killing people on Baldwin Street. They show television commercials to let me know that my life is in danger and I'm not afraid. My family loves me, and many of them love me. I attended two school events this year for "friends" and they went after me at one and before me at another. The first event, the woman doesn't even speak to me on Facebook, anymore. When she posted everyday, and we would have discussions. The next event was with a really long time acquaintance that lived down the street in junior high school. His son thought that I was some kind of "Cougar" going after him. The boy just turned 18 years old. I'm his mother's age. But these hungry men and women who steal out of Meijer, told this child that I wanted him. That's the same thing with my friends and family. They tell people that my family hates me and my family follows suit in this game. Everything I write about in these blogs are not happenstance, and are all instigated by law enforcement.

My brothers and sisters have lives. They have jobs and children to attend to. Two of my sisters have grandchildren. They can't live like I live and survive and they stay away. I accidently saw my sister at the grocery store. I hugged her and her expression stayed flat. She was with her mother that she is helping take care of. My Dad's girlfriend. I love both of them. I would never have them go through what I'm going through right now. It would destroy their lives. People trying to run them off the road. Going in their bank account stealing money. Setting their accounts up to be over-drawn. Right now, they won't even allow a credit go through at Citi Group that is pending. Something like that would cause my family members to miss car payments and rent, lights, gas and groceries. I stay away from them and they stay away from me. Their faces stay indifferent and they live in peace. I love them and I would have it no other way. But these hungry law enforcement men and women think that I can't make it. They even bumped my sister's car with a semi-truck on her way back home from Michigan.

Brenda Lawrence US Congress

My family does what they are told. Each of them is able to live their lives freely, and I respect that. The idea that nobody likes me is ridiculous. My family is afraid. Like I should be, but I only have me. I don't have to look out for anyone, but me. My sisters and brothers, their children and grandchildren can all enjoy life. I went to the Labor Day Parade in Detroit last Monday. I was treated like a pariah. It made me question why I was even there. Congress Brenda Lawrence wasn't happy to see me there marching for her. Her group was small, ill-prepared and disorganized, anyway. She was disappointed to know that she would now be targeted by the police. Her ties with Southfield are deep. Southfield, a stones through from Detroit is a cesspool of corruption. I still walked, but decided to remove her t-shirt and walk back alone. The corruption is real. My family's love is real, too. Don't believe the hype. I got friend, I got family and I have people on my side. It brings me back to Ephesian's 6:12-17 and it reads:

"12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God..."

I fight the way I do, because I fight for my life. For everything that is dear in my life and the times to come. I pray for my cousin Rasheed, because saying that he "loves me deeply" goes against the idea that nobody likes me. The women in jail had to do the same thing. One day the truth will be told and no one will be as happy as me and my family. Maybe we can have a party or picnic to celebrate our love for one another, without it turning out to be a "We hate Lesley" event. I can do nothing, but pray for the day!

A Woman's Worth: The Kone Bowman Story

Tracy and Kone Bowman

When I was six years old, I met Tracy Bowman. She wasn't Tracy Bowman at the time, she was Tracy, "Somebody else". She had a cousin named Detrich and they lived on Marshall. I lived in the Duplexes on East Boulevard. I don't know who remembers them, but they had an alley that ran behind them. We were known as the "Alley People". There were huge rats that lived there, too. I have friends on Facebook and in life that like me and my family transitioned there over time. We are all successful people, today! Those kinds of adversities breeds major accomplishments in those that live for success. We met there and were "Alley People", together. My father had left a year before, and my mother was trying to get it together and give us a life. She was failing, miserably, but like Nikki G. says, "I was always happy". Tracy and Detrich were comfortable, and dressed nice and had fancy bows that were put in their hair every morning, and I wanted to be like them and would walk home from school with them everyday. I guess, I wanted to pretend that I was like them, too.

Sometimes, I don't even think they wanted to walk with me. I was not comfortable and did not dress in the latest fashions. My hair was short and I didn't have bows or ribbons or any of those things. Today, I am almost 49 years old. I am not rich, but I have discovered that I am very smart and very good with people. I don't have a huge political career or anything like that. I have a good man in my life that supports me and I support him and we have accomplished a lot over the last 18 years that I'm beginning to think people envy. My life has been hard and lonely. I guess it's about to be over! I have no idea. I am a consumer at Community Network Service. I is supposed to be a premiere mental health program, but they are a bunch of pimps and abusers. I'm not insane by any means. I was forced to go to prison by a bunch of crooked cops. They want to backtrack these days, because although I have not seen my man in over three years, we work. I had never been to jail for more than two days when I was arrested for stalking him. Once for an incident with my brother and again for some more police mess. Girl Scout cookies and things of that sort. Back then, anything crooked in Pontiac was wrapped up in the Pontiac Police.

When I entered prison in December 2004, I had only did the 45-days it took to get me there in my entire life. My mother would always come and bail me out. The "Big Whigs" at the Pontiac Police were standing on my man's neck and he was hopeless, we were hopeless. I loved him and understood and took every lick. With tears and misery, but I took it all, even when I thought I would lose my mind. There has been times that we didn't see one another for years. Our commitment to one another was always there and always strong. I did not know that I could love someone so much in all my life. I love him, however, and am not ashamed of that one bit. In life "a little rain must fall," but I've had tornadoes and hurricanes. God is so good, and he is mighty in the lives of those that trust him. Kone Bowman is a preacher, but he knows nothing about the God I serve. I had to go live with the mentally ill prisoners, because that's where they put people like me who don't "get along" with the other prisoners. I stayed in segregation and in fights with my bunkies. They didn't know what else to do, because most people submit. I did not...

When I got home and Val Gross charged me with stalking him for trying to make a complaint, I went to jail. While in jail, I discovered that the deputies were prostituting the men and women in the jail's clinic. I'm not saying I'm gorgeous, but they pick from your mugshot. I guess I took a nice one. When I refused to sell myself, because I was innocent, they sent me to the State Forensic Center for an evaluation. Wouldn't you know it, I was insane and could adequately assist my attorney in my defense. None of the people I wrote could talk to me, or the news, nobody. I am fine with that, but lately, I've been talking to public officials and mingling in circles that a person from an alley shouldn't be mingled with. Kone is my first-cousins brother. His father was married to my aunt when we were very little children. In fact, when I was six and seven when I knew his wife. She used to pick him and my brother up and they would go play basketball. She died, and when my cousin messaged me on Facebook and asked me for the sake of our family to not write another word about Kone, as a favor to him for his brother. I agreed and have not written a word about his brother since then. Out of love for my family that I can't have anything to do with, because they would be targets of the police. Kone's father did a bid in prison, before passing away at an early age. So, I guess he felt he couldn't talk about that. My aunt, who ran away from him because of abuse, would swear he was crazy! She took my cousins and moved to Tennessee, until he was incarcerated in the early 80's. He abandoned Kone, and it was my aunt that welcomed him into her home and not his own father!

FedEx wanted to build a distribution center behind Stonegate, where Kone and Tracy live. He had come to a City Council Meeting and had some issues with the new construction. Coincidentally, I was in a "Operations Management" class at Walsh. I understood the placement of distribution centers, and the math that is used to determine there whereabouts. They came down to the City Council Meeting like FedEx was targeting Black folk and trying to do something to them on purpose. Making these high-falutin request of them. Kone being the loudest voice that felt they were only building their warehouse here, because we were Black and they thought they could get over on us. He tries to act like he is so intelligent and militant. I found out, today, he is nothing but a crook and a low-class one at that. During his tenure at Pontiac City Council, where he accomplished nothing special, he worked for this pyramid scam. I always wondered how he really made his money, because that company never really paid any real money.

We haven't heard much about FedEx. Kone is probably making them pave his driveway. I never thought that he was good friends with Kermit Williams, but I can imagine after today they are "good" friends. His wife works for CNS. She's a Transport Employee. She picks up and drops-off consumers. They sit at the desk and listen to their consumers sessions with their medical professionals. They think I don't know this. This B***H, Tracy Bowman, that has known of me forever, and felt that she was superior. Now thinks she would get "one up" on me and listen to my session with my healthcare professional. They think nobody knows. People sit in their face, do drugs and run right back and tell what they talk about. Dummy! She and Kone think they can try and act like my man and me. While I sat and played my word game, she talked about her 25-year old. I guess that's more than my 18 years. I don't compare in years, I compare hardship and sacrifice. I compare the love and trust, honesty and loyalty over the years. We may not have a dozen children, but we have one another and sometimes that's enough. Kone wants his woman to be like me. First, he has to be the man that my man is, and then he has to be willing to sacrifice every day for the woman he loves. That does not mean sending her to do the job of a real woman. Because when you come against a real woman, you are bound to lose. 

I'm no longer that little girl with three pair of pants to my name and only one pair of shoes that she has to wear with everything. But Tracy knows that, because she attempted to treat me like I am. I'm at the point in my life that all I want to do is sleep, eat and go to bed. I can't, however, because God has given me too much to do. It does not include coming against people that are too far for me to reach. I hear my name is in rooms that I have never entered. I have sacrificed so much to live. I have been tortured, only to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix, to fight again. Sitting and listening to my life is not even going to get you across the street, Tracy. If you want to know something about me, Tracy, come ask me. My number is all over Facebook. Come and talk to me! Ask your husband to be still! His efforts, as poor as they are, will soon be rewarded. When this started, so many people thought I would never make it. Well, guess what, MF's? I don't deal with men, and I leave him to take car of that part. As a woman I surely know my place. "Trash Bag", you need to keep your wits about you, man. You're way out of your league if you want to come for me. Besides, I didn't even send for your corrupt, sorry a**!

I don't know what failed election this is!

He claims that he is a distant relative to the judge, Leo Bowman, who is a pimping judge in Oakland County. With his wife's sad attempt at getting some kind of information on me, I think they are more than distant relatives. You can read what I have to say about Leo Bowman by clicking his name above. A new window will appear with that blog.

You will never be able to say that I don't care about anything!

Don't believe the hype!

Have You Ever Dreamed Lucky?

Have you ever dreamed lucky?

Have you ever wished upon a star?

Found you are unlucky and that heaven was too far.

That you could be an angel, so, settled on being a star.

Dangling in the heavens, just being where you are.

Have you ever dreamed lucky?

Discovered you were a tree.

Tall, lush and beautiful, for all the world to see.

Have you ever found yourself saying, "I am a tree, and a tree is me"?

Never really guessing that a tree is what you want to be.

Have you ever dreamed lucky?

Discovered you weren't the sun.

Not the biggest star in the universe.

But still number one.

Because it's definitely not the stars.

Certainly not a tree.

The sun is quite impressive.

But will never change the gift you share with me.

-Lesley

Real Women Don't Lie

Doris Taylor-Burks

I'm amazed at the length some people will go to steal. Politics is all about winning. Many people will try to win at any cost. While flipping through the television channels, I came across a brief television panel on District 6. That district must include the downtown area. She was interviewing a business owner from there. The reason why I said that she would do anything to steal, because she tried to tell the man that there was criminal activity going on in the Pontiac Downtown. The man, along with a law enforcement agent. They tried to make it clear that Downtown Pontiac is fine. Any criminal activity down there was minor and like any city with a downtown. Minor incidents, such as petty larceny and arguments and very little physical altercations that didn't lead to much. She insisted that there are rumors circulating, and her friends who don't live here, won't come to the city. Because of the gossip we're losing out on possible growth. In other words, we here in Pontiac have a bad reputation. She is trying to make the Mayor look bad, but that is the stupidest thing I've ever seen from a PhD.

If you worked at a business, because that's what the city is, a business. You have the head of a specific department, like Taylor-Burks is the leader of District 6. That leader then goes on television and tells the entire city, including some outsiders, how bad their department is,  in their effort to "clear up" the situation. Bringing on a police officer and business owner to reiterate your point that the department is bad. But the kicker is that the two people you thought would support your view, actually do not agree with you. They in turn, explain to you and "clears up", your negative point-of-view about your own department. I just sat looking at the television and thought, "Just like Council Meetings" she has done zero research or effort to find out the truth, and is relying on the rumors by others. She has no idea what is going on in her own district, and a person that is outside the city had to sit and explain to her about the truth. The truth is a far cry from our city's downtown being dangerous or a den for crime.

That is the same rhetoric they tried to spill in the marijuana initiative in Pontiac. Our downtown is quiet as a church-mouse. Even when 4Brothers was popping down there, there was little "trouble" downtown. There is very little downtown to do that isn't a special event. What Taylor-Burks is in an essence doing is scaring the businesses away that may want to start a business, or patrons wanting to visit stay away. What the men being interviewed should have clarified is that the downtown is safe, and will soon be safer with the introduction of a "blue light" initiative that is similar to Detroit's "green light" initiative. A program that has led to a substantial drop in crime in the neighborhoods in Detroit. They also do a great deal to assist cops after a crime has been committed. It gives them a timeline, the players. You know, who, what, when and where? It is very good for particular areas in a city that are troublesome, or like or downtown, coveted. People visiting can feel safe knowing that we have a security system in place, and that deters criminals from committing crimes against our citizen and patrons from different cities. But the men, including the law enforcement officer had to set her straight on all the issues at hand. What information I got that was good and positive about the city came from them, and neither live here, but Taylor-Burks does.

How come she couldn't be as insightful and knowledgeable about her own city as those two men were? But our City Council does the same exact thing. Last minute reading of the agenda and notes from the weeks before. Agenda items that they have pushed back, claiming the Mayor didn't get it to them on time. In reality, they had it and put their jobs as Council Member last. I have examples, and I don't have to go too far back. The Week of April 16, there was a Special Meeting concerning the budget. There was specific things that the Council wanted to have to view before voting, and wanted the Mayor to get it at that moment. Well, the Mayor said that she couldn't get it at that time. They knew about this meeting, and had the agenda for enough time to have asked for that information in advance. The entire Council acted as The Mayor and her administration had failed to do their job. When it was the Council who didn't do their homework and read the information in the packet or knew the agenda to know what they would be voting on. Then they needed to set a specific ordinance on the budget, but their new lawyer had to write that up in five minutes. 

They wanted this lawyer, because I guess she is willing to put up with the derelict ways. Because there is no way, they should be writing ordinances at the spare of the moment as they come up. This Sharp lady was more angry with the Mayor, at the last meeting than the "Johnny come Lately" Council who are ill-prepared for every meeting. But they had to get that money in order. Taylor-Burks and Kermit Williams don't want anyone being able to steal and they can't get in on the money. They "on the fly" passed an ordinance that forbid any expenditures more than $10K to have to come through a Council vote. I think Sharp wrote it on Kermit Williams napkin from his McDonald's order. If they had read their agenda and knew what they were doing, they would have had all that prepared before the meeting, and people all over the world wouldn't know how "sorry" our Council is under the leadership of Kermit Williams. Whose total disrespect for the Mayor has trickled to their new crony Sharp and the City Clerk. Who we found out is an Interim Clerk that's not allowed by the City Charter, but who the Council allows, but won't allow the Mayor a Finance Director under the same Charter. 

When Williams shut the Mayor down and she and her administration left the meeting, I was so glad. She doesn't have to tolerate their disrespect. I wouldn't go back. That Sharp lady addressed her as "She a lie". Who is "She"? You mean our Mayor? The woman that was the partner to one of our great leaders. The doctor? And let me tell you becoming a doctor when she did, Black and a woman wasn't even easy. I just pray... Who will challenge her with a "She"? All of this because Kermit Williams can't steal from us. And I tell you that's what this is all about, GREED! I reserve the right as a citizen to call it that. People that work for us, totally disrespecting us, the city and the process. We should ask for more and get it. Because we deserve it after coming out of receivership and being able to manage our money. People that work for us, should not have to be convinced that it is safe to live here, because they disagree with our Mayor. We must fight the dying of the light, and live to fight another day. First, however, we have to take out the garbage, since Kermit Williams can not!

Garbage that sat on Paddock off Sanford for weeks
Kermit Williams District 7

Going and Irwin

South Paddock, just off Sanford

Randy Carter...What's Up with the Weed?

Councilman Randy Carter

I spent a lot of my time at City Hall this summer. After the election, it got pretty hectic. People had voted for marijauna in Pontiac. I think that all drugs should be legalized. In my opinion, the police make more money off illegal drugs than anyone. There was a group of cops that wanted to stop the legalization of pot in Michigan. Benny Napoleon wasn't going to honor the passing of the law. He explained that it was illegal as far as the Federal government was concerned, and he was going to abide by Federal law. A few weeks ago, I saw him on Flash Point with Devin Scillian, and he had changed his tune. Why would you arrest people that the Attorney General has made it clear they won't prosecute? That's a waste of time and tax payers money. Besides, weed is a low-level crime. Those people that sell weed are ones afraid to do serious time that crack, coke and heroine gets you. Anytime, I have seen a large amount of weed is in a huge drug bust. Weed is a secondary drug. Relatively harmless, and that's why its legal, today.

I'm thinking that Randy Carter approached me with the marijauna, because of my family's past. My brother, for those who know me, is doing 17 1/2 years for "Conspiracy: to manufacturing or delivering 650 grams of heroine or cocaine". It originally had a front of 30 years that's a degree of Life. Also, my father was involved in the drug game in Pontiac. I have a sorted past with drugs in my family. I would like to say that we've broken that curse in my family and all my nephews are law abiding citizens. I guess that Mr. Carter has the wrong impression of me, because everyone that knows me, knows that I was broken by my fathers drug abuse. I want nothing to do with drugs. I love my brother and do all I can for him. He will tell you that my mother, sister, brother and I begged him to stop. In life, sometimes you have to see thing through to the end, and there is no stopping in the middle to "get yourself together". You gotta to see your mess go until the end, even if it means doing a lot of time.

I didn't go into great details when speaking with Randy Carter, because I felt my life was none of his business. I just turned to him and looked him in the eye and said, "You know I don't do drugs?" Especially, if he was talking up on drug dealing, even if it's legal drug dealing. Due to his writing of an illiterate ordinance that obviously written wrong. Along with Kermit Williams, Gloria Miller and Doris Taylor-Burks supporting it, just because the Mayor doesn't is stupid. Saying it, is the personification of jealousy. Williams said it was about egos, and he's right; his! Who would pass something that is no good, for the sake of going against someone? Just because your ego can't agree, and you refuse to be wrong. They say they have to have "something". Why can't the "something" be the Mayors proposal? One man stood up and said, "Thank you, 300 yards would put me out of range." He'll pay for that, and I mean literally pay. His shop is in Carter's district. I guess he thinks I would know something about drugs, which I do, but the game has changed tremendously in the last 20 years. My brothers case changed the game completely, because they for one, didn't have to have any drugs to charge and convict him. Two, you could be caught in a case with people you don't even know or had ever dealt with! All that's needed that someone in your circle had dealt with them. I'm sure that changed the way they deal.

Randy Carter, Kermit Williams, Gloria Miller and Doris Taylor-Burks have created a conspiracy of sorts. The idea that Randy Carter was talking to me about things that hadn't even happened yet is beyond me. It makes me think his wife's being elected to her seat in the House of Representatives was more of a "money grab" than a legitimate run. To this day, my Facebook homepage is a election post from him. Usually, they last a week or so. This post from Carter will only go away if I block him. The police control Facebook. They use my feed to try and make me feel bad about myself. They post pornographic messages from my friends and so-called put-downs and body shaming post. I learned that I was attractive when I was 16 years old. My sisters, it was their job, told me I was ugly all my life. I stopped believing them. A man angry, because he wants to be a woman, won't make me start believing it, again. This post from almost a year ago of Brenda Carter was okay, at first. I respect her, and at first supported her campaign. Until, I found out she supported unions and didn't even support marijauna in Michigan. It seems that she and her husband aren't on the same page, because not only is he for it, but he wrote an ordinance, however lousy, for the placement of dispensaries in the city.

Just like the police who were against it. My identity was stolen, more than likely by the deputies at the Oakland County Jail (OCJ). So far, I have had four houses with lights and gas in my name. In one month, the bill was $300! Someone told me that my information was used to keep a "grow house" going. Nobody can use $300 in lights in one month. These homes were not that large. That is a lot of lights and gas. Detroit is full of this kind of nonsense and when I spoke to the people at DTE, they seemed to be protecting the people who were using my name. These are the same people who shut my lights out three times last year. They did my block, but Mattie Hatchett, whose house I can see my window was lit up. Just like the deputy's, once Pontiac Police Momma that lives down the street who is absent from the skunk infestation, loud cars riding past her house and trash being thrown in her yard or anywhere near her yard. I'm not down for any illegal activities and I don't care who is doing it. I wrote a beautiful blog on Representative Carter, before she won. I respect her a great deal. I don't know what her husband is up to, but it smells like no good. Young drug dealers are on my block all summer long, in front of my apartment making noise at all times of the night. 

I had to fight with those uneducated "ghetto superstars" at DTE for months. I kept finding out I had houses with lights in my name in Detroit. They refused to turn off the service and told me that they didn't know who I was. Maybe I was the thief! The first time in 2013, it was Comcast. They had security systems and the whole nine yards in my name. Didn't pay, and stole all the equipment. If this is what's going to happen in Pontiac, we'll be in trouble. How Councilman Randy Carter knew what the State was going to do is beyond me. Shutting down dispensaries and making it hard to get licenses. It seems that he has some inside information that the rest of us don't know about. The idea that the Council Members want to pass something out of spite, let's me know they are up to some dirty work. They've decided that beyond anything they want to go against the Mayor, even if it's not right for the city. People wanting to benefit from our city, clapped for Kermit Williams and they don't even live here. If at all possible, he should be impeached. He's looking for a chance to make some money. It's always a "money grab" with him. Always some kind of scheme to get some money he don't deserve and Councilwoman Gloria Miller giving the same speech week after week. She's taking on the STEM program with a need for bleachers. Bleachers? She is light on city business, and need to read a book to increase her vocabulary and governmental responsibilities beyond the Mayor's successes.

There needs to be a meeting of the minds. I can't be there, and they've made sure of that. As a winner, it's not surprising that Kermit Williams invites losers to the table. I have power beyond what he could fathom. Power that I don't even know, but I get from people telling me to carry on. Just like our Mayor. Kermit Williams lost the Mayoral Election and the election for the House, won by Brenda Carter. A sore loser will always do their best to destroy the work of a winner. I might not have won any elections, but I have won battles seen and unseen. Winners supporters don't have to show up and eat chicken nuggets and disrespect the process. Winners come to the table with ideas, and hopes for the future. Not lies and garbage, because they are involved in activities becoming of a loser. When the come together to sort out this mess. I pray that they come with a clear understanding of what is going on. Not greed, nor speculation or contentions that comes from ignorance. When you don't know be silent, and not go on rants to prove a point. It only further shows your ignorance.

Faces...

I watch the City Council Meeting last night. Since the sun is going down at around 5:30 pm these days, saying "night" is appropriate. In the summer we can get away with calling it evening, since the sun doesn't go down, until almost 10 o'clock. That's what this blog will be about. Changing... 

I'm talking about what it's like living in Pontiac, and the faces we see that seem to change in certain situations. I've been holding a secret for quite a while. Another man has been able to go to Oakland County Circuit Court and get a Personal Protection Order against me. He went in with information from our Facebook "friendship" and a crooked judge allowed him to swear that I am harassing him. Some fags in Pontiac don't like me. Those are the faces in Pontiac. You can meet a person in Pontiac, have a nice and civil conversation, go to their Facebook page and they are there if a woman, with a woman. If your a man, your their with a bunch of men. Sometimes these men and women are married with children. They have loving husbands and quite a few children. But you can tell by their post that their children have even picked up on their lascivious ways. Their boys are baking cookies and  creating clothes, their young women holding up that "V" and putting their tongue between it. When they started the behavior on social media, I began to know what old friends indulged in lasciviousness. I didn't stop liking them. I just knew that they had two-faces; that's all.

It's just like a liar. Just like a thief. My Momma used to tell us when I was a girl growing up. "If you lie, you'd do anything." I remember, my older sister lied all the time. I remember thinking, "She'll do anything". Because as a child, you believe what comes out of your parents mouth. You have children that don't find out Santa Claus doesn't exist, until they are 15 years old. Because no one has told them differently. No one has disrupted the fallacy that their parents have planted in their head. Once someone does, the first place they run for clarification is their parents. The people that lied to them in the first place. That's the state of the government, today. It is shut down and the only place we can go to find answers is to the very people who are lying and cheating us. It's like no double-edged sword I have ever seen in my life. Due to my ability to have one face that I show everyone, all the time, I get singled out. That's why they were able to send me to prison for something that I did not do. I had no friends, because your back being watched is an illegal thing. I don't do illegal stuff. I wasn't going to prostitute to get myself out of going to prison. Why should I? I never did anything to anyone. Why give myself over to a reprobate mind. So many women start tricking and realize it's not that bad. And when ever they hit a financial crisis, hit the bars and the clubs and "sell some coochie". Its become an easy thing to do.

I was talking to a woman I attended school with. There is an organization she wants to involve me in. She claimed to be having trouble in her personal life. She claimed that it was like mine, but that she's different from me. She said that it was better that she runs things, because they hadn't made her insane or given her prison time. Then I went to "her meeting". She had several of her men friends there, with a lady friend and a coke head. The organization holds it's center her in Michigan in a church, and I left there thinking, "Yeah, that's about it!". They didn't lock her up, because she might enjoy it. You have people in this world that has two and three faces. You never know, they could drop you off at 11. But that's the time the real fun starts in the "other world" of lasciviousness. Your at home thinking their at home getting ready for bed, too, but they are at a gang bang party, having sex with women and smoking crack. This isn't a game, I'm trying to tell a story, until one day you forget your shirt in their car and run down the street to retrieve it. Walk in the door and ask when they coming back and their Momma says they've never been there. Remembering the strange man at the gym asking your friend, "...where she be at?" Now I know, I be at home sleep! One friend just didn't come pick me up, when she was getting into some shenanigans that I was in no way, shape or form interested in being involved with. They won't come get you, if they know that your really not into it, and just doing it to fit in. You're no fun, really.

Now, they are all grown up making non-profits and ascending to new heights and unable to take you along, because you don't prescribe to that kind of mess. I have friends who can't even talk to me, because it's "them" against me. They have been lulled into a false belief that if they stick together, no pun attended, they can beat the system. They have members in every arena and have established themselves as a force in Oakland County. Here's the thing about being lulled into a false sense of security. One day, someone will take that from you. One day, you will wake up and realize that even your "own kind" has turned on you. Your "faces" have led to your demise, because you trusted someone just like you. I always tell this story, but it's fitting. In 1981, my father was part of one of the biggest drug busts in this city. He was arrested by an undercover cop that tooted just as much "mixed jive" as he did. He was so shocked, he said that even while he sat in his jail cell he didn't understand how that cop had got him. But it's the same every time. Trust, people tend to trust someone that holds the same secrets they do. That way, once again, they are lulled into a false sense of security. "Here, do a line!" "Here, take a hit." "Here, sleep with him, or sleep with her." Every time the forces that be have got to take it one step further than the next, because that ain't enough, anymore.

You have to be like me and alone, all the time to survive. Like this sorry excuse for a man has shown me, you can't trust anyone. As soon as you begin to trust that's when you make your biggest mistake and everything begins to become distorted. Even when you do everything right, there is always that one chance for degradation. Then your sitting in your house plotting revenge, when God told you "vengeance is mine". So, you sit and you wonder how he will do his best work.You remember the "faces" the face that lies. The faces that tell a story that's not even there. The trust and the mistrust that brings you to a place of betrayal and self-loathing, because all the signs were there. These days in a corrupt society, you can't win, unless you play on the right team. Some people even play and think they can play who they are playing with, but those people don't play. You think that because you've found a "face" among them that is just like you, you are safe. Well, you are wrong! 

This has been about this weeks Council Meeting...